Moral Dilemma

viczoe wrote:Very sorry to hear we have lost a member. It is possible to guide people without being rude and harsh. If you can't get your point across in a civil way best to say nothing. I seem to recall we all started somewhere with animals and we all learn as we go and the problems she has had with her animals were far less than I have seen posted here and in another forum to which I don't belong. Some of the stuff on the other forum brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Hidden for posting on this as the tone from the git go was not nice!!!

Heather

I also agree with Heather, every one starts some where, and these forums where started with the intent for newbies being introduced To this hobbie, giving them the opportunity to learn all about this wonderful hobby from people the new members would have never meet otherwise ( across the country) when i first signed up i didn't now much about poultry but i got lots of helpful advice from lots of people. But i have also come to realize this is a hobbie that you never stop making mistakes or learning even for the people that have been in this hobby for years! So i come to my point,, I dont Know the whole story of what happened hear but It's sad that a fellow member was pushed to the point of leaving a forum that was originally design to help,,,,not criticize! My thoughts

Giving advice to anyone is something you can never do without hazzard. Some people will take advice into consideration and then apply it accordingly to their situation. Even if the advice questions or criticizes their question, they will recieve it with an open mind.

Others will only accept advice they asked for if it agrees with what they want to hear. If it doesn't, then that person takes the adivce as a criticism or at worse an attack on them personaly.

I'm not surprised what happened did. Not saying this out of disrespect as I even asked this of TFE. Some of their statements often puzzled the heck out me why they got into trying to raise livestock in the first place? Even out of good intention, sometimes you have to pull back and ask them why on earth are you doing what you are doing cause it don't seem to be making sense.

Just so as I know and don't have to guess, am I the one being referred to as the person? If so what did I say that was so bad? Was it because I shared MY opinion? Was it because I disagreed? Or was it because you read some kind of tone into my post? I am not offended or feeling personally attacked I just think if you are trying to say something to someone (ME) say it to me not someone. This is not a hobby to me, I live on a farm, if I don't have my animals I don't eat. It is not a dream or blissful thinking on my farm, it is reality, grow it, kill it, eat it. I live what most people call their dream, and it is hard work. I am off grid, I heat with wood, I grow my own food, I struggle to pay for the few things I can't do without, or make myself, it is hard work, but I won't trade with anyone because it is mine. Yes I am harsh and to the point, I pointed that out when I joined and warned people not to read my post if they are the least bit squeamish. I guess I am like a car crash, you can't look away!

This may seem off thread but...

reminds me of my sister who sat beside a plastic surgeon at dinner at a friend's one night. She said "I've always wanted my nose fixed, what do you think?"

He took a hard look at her and said "Before that I'd get something done about your hooded eyes."

She was SO upset. She had always complained about the shape of her nose but never thought about her eyes. She thought he was really rude.

I think you have to be sure you want answers before you ask questions.

lazyfarmer wrote:Yes I am harsh and to the point, I pointed that out when I joined and warned people not to read my post if they are the least bit squeamish.

By the same token, you do not have to read posts that bother you either.

That is a good one, Heda. I get the same thing with dogs all the time. Someone will come up to me at the show and say... So! What do you think of my new puppy? I could say he has a narrow front, a poor rear and an ugly headpiece, but I will end up dashing the hopes of someone who has jiust spent $2000 on their next show prospect. I know they don't want my opinion. They want my approval.

So what do I say? "What a cutie!"

Here in lies the problem, I like trees, I just can't bring myself to go and beat around the bush like so many others. The problem is not me reading, it is my response. I just can't bring myself to read some posts, I have no idea what a basket tutorial is about.

toybarons wrote:Giving advice to anyone is something you can never do without hazzard. Some people will take advice into consideration and then apply it accordingly to their situation. Even if the advice questions or criticizes their question, they will recieve it with an open mind.

Others will only accept advice they asked for if it agrees with what they want to hear. If it doesn't, then that person takes the adivce as a criticism or at worse an attack on them personaly.

I'm not surprised what happened did. Not saying this out of disrespect as I even asked this of TFE. Some of their statements often puzzled the heck out me why they got into trying to raise livestock in the first place? Even out of good intention, sometimes you have to pull back and ask them why on earth are you doing what you are doing cause it don't seem to be making sense.

I agree with Toybarons. I don't think I could have said it any better.I waited a long time before posting and am still not sure if it fits into context here but here goes....

There are some peole in this world who will spend their life being an "antagonist". I personally don't have a master plan, I have a plan and thats to be self sufficient and then some for my family. My hubby has had to actually tell me just because you have changed doesn't mean the rest of our family has go easy. I usually just stop talking to that person, much like I did here. I would welcome a hard reality based answer more than fluff. There are people out there who have been doing this alot longer than myself and have that experience.

It also says volumes when you can't stand toe to toe with your peers and take that advice like an adult. I feel she took the easy way out and left us here squabbling amongst ourselves. And thats not right.

I don't think its about disrespecting anybody but some of us have a more straight forward approach to answering any question than others. This is what makes us different. Sometimes the truth does hurt.

Just to clarify, I do not have a problem with the advice, even if it's not the sort a person is looking for.

My problem comes when people make generalized statements about a person's character (in this particular case, a good example would be: "You don't take advice."). Beginning with the word "You" it will naturally be taken personally. It is a sweeping judgment when all we really know about a person is what is written here. I don't think anyone is expecting 'fluff', but they don't expect barbed wire either. Just my opinion.

People persent themselves as they want to be perceived.
Advise can be interpreted as each person wants to see it.

I can't believe that someone doesn't know what a basket tutorial is. Puhleeze! Revoke their membership immediately!

uno wrote:I can't believe that someone doesn't know what a basket tutorial is. Puhleeze! Revoke their membership immediately!

Yes, I thought that too! I oughta send him one ha ha.

Ruffledfeathers wrote:
and left us here squabbling amongst ourselves.

I don't consider this squabbling. Some people are having a disagreement and, I think, it has all been pretty respectful.

But lets keep Uno's baskets out of it. You can slam my mother and claim that I have uncertain parentage but leave the baskets out of it, let's keep it above the belt people.

Am I bad? Even with this mean sprited taunting, I still can't bring myself to look at that which will remain nameless. Puhleeze don't send one of what ever it is. But feel free to send vodka (chicken use only I promise).

Oh no am I going to lose my membership I haven't quite gotten to my tutorial yet I promise soon i will get it soon just put the basket down slowly and walk away backwards hands in the air and everything will be okay...

Hey fowler I am glad to see that you are up for a good debate. I thought that we have managed to keep it clean.