Not going to make it!

I swear I am going to lose it! I have finals in two weeks. I have a paper to write and have writers block. Kinda need to get some studying done and I am not getting to it because of stupid said paper. My house is a mess. My coops are dirty. Achh!!! My mind is a puddle. This is not good.

And my eye is twitching.....

Got a 90 on the last paper for this class. Great right? No!! Now I have to do as well. Or prof will see that I actually have no idea what I am talking about and then change her mind about last paper and somehow figure out how to lower my last mark too! Will never get into nursing school! Think I am going to go cry quietly in the corner now.....

Now, now, Susan. Calm down. Take a deep breath. In with the good air, out with the bad. Sit down at the table here, let me boil some water and we'll have tea.

Now Susan, does it sound reasonable to you that your prof is really going to find a way to lower your grade? No. That's a wee little bit of paranoia sneaking in. And you are under a lot of pressure, no one holds it against you. If you got a 90 last time, it's because you earned it. With your house a mess, your coops poopy and your mind a puddle, you earned your 90. You will again. Yes you will. And let's say you earn an 85 or 80. SO what? WIll the world end? Will 'The Paper' police come and arrest you? No. Perhaps SoSharpSue with her grammatical spectacles on will throw rocks at you for poor usage. But really, it's just Sue, no biggy.

I see the water has boiled? Do you take milk and honey with that? A wee shot of whisky? Let's focus on the prize, keep your eyes on the prize. Tell me about when you are a nurse. How do you see your life going? What made you want to do this? Tell me about the people you are going to help.

Deep breath...you are going to do this and you are going to amaze yourself. Because that's just how it is. I have faith in you, you need to have faith in you too.

Uno! Thank you. Whiskey with a shot of tea! You wonderful woman. Breathe? No not yet. Yes the marks police will come. And then I won't get in. And then it's another year of depending on someone else who is not going to provide. Why a nurse? Because I can rock it. Because I care and am damn good at helping. Because I want it and I know I am good at it. Won't write this paper tho and doesn't make up for the naughty having-too-much-fun average I had before I grew up. These marks matter and it's paralyzing me

Who am I going to help? I am going to help those who have no one. I am going to be there for them. Hold their hand. Be an amazingly quick needle poker. Someone to listen. Someone to help understand what the doc just said and what it means. I don't know where I will specialize. Even like the idea of nurse practitioner. No idea. Just know I want this and it is scaring the crap out of me.

Want to go on a road trip tomorrow? Susan what you are doing and going through will be well worth it when you are done or things slow down, if you want help with the coops maybe I can find some time to help, mine need doing to. Keep your mind open and your thoughts to the good, when this is all done you will look back and smile, while we are drinking a bottle of wine or 10.

Lol. Thanks pops!

Susan, you are going to ACE your exams, graduate in style, get a great job and be enormously happy. How do I know? Because you seem to be able to do anything, and I am constantly amazed by you!

Wow Sue, you are very kind, that's a pretty nice thing to say . Or am I missing a SoSarcastic Sue comment somewhere hee hee??

No sourcasm today. I am on my best behaviour. But watch out tomorrow!

Lol. Well you made my day. And today I am going to attack that paper!

As an adult student, I had to do a paper for my English 30 class on the Margaret Laurence book 'The Diviners'. I forget exactly what the paper was supposed to be about. I just remember it had to take the point of the main character, her strengths of being a positive female role model. Something like that.

I DISLIKED this book. I couldn't read. Each time I tried to read it, I fell asleep. Didn't like the main character. Couldn't relate to her. Everytime I went to write my report, I ended up drawing scribbles. Worse was my English teacher held the author in high regard. She was a big fan of Margaret Laurence. She also had a rep of totalling destroying papers she felt were half-assed done.

I had over 1 month to do the report. The weekend before having to hand it in, I read the book and did the notes. I was sitting in the parking lot at school, Monday morning, rewriting my working reporting in my car. I launched into the class literally 10 minutes before it was over to hand in my paper, saying I had car problems. This paper which counted for a big part towards my final mark.

If I can push through something I absolutely disliked, I'm sure you will do great because you like what you are doing. Just push all the stresses out of your mind and treat the paper as you would any other paper you've done. Also remember to still take breaks and sleep. Rest is still important. 20 minutes power naps work wonders.
You will do fine.

Toy barons, I am feeling your pain right now lol! For some reason this paper is not coming easily, but I am 3/4 done!!!