Selling Canada's secrets

Was listening to the radio about the fellow convicted of selling secret information to the Russians. It made me very sad. And he did it for about $3000 a month, which is a pretty crappy wage for espionage. Maybe the Russian bad guys are poor,or wanted to pay him in Vodka.

But really, what secrets do we Canadians have that are worth getting all excited about? I picture two trench coat clad men in dark glasses, looking shiftly around before stepping behind a tree. A quick exchange of a piece of paper, then an envelope with some cash and quick as that, the deal is concluded.

What is this secret? "Authentic poutine is not made with grated cheese, but cheese curds, which do not melt, known also by the technical term, 'squeaky cheese'." Yeah, this calls for some serious jail time!

uno wrote:
But really, what secrets do we Canadians have that are worth getting all excited about?

Yes, that was my first reaction when I read the title of your post, and it made me scurry in for a quick look, thinking the secret would be revealed to me as well! Alas, all is for naught. If you ever find out what the secret is, please let the rest of us Canucks know so we can be proud that we had one worthy of stealing! (I wonder if it has anything to do with road hockey?)

Nanaimo bars, Rice Crispy squares, Tim Hortons....wait, I am sure I can think of more secrets just give me a bit of time......

The drafting plans of NHL teams for top Russian hockey players. Definitely not in demand this year.

rosewood wrote:The drafting plans of NHL teams for top Russian hockey players. Definitely not in demand this year.

'fraid not...

To continue the hockey spy theme...

Secret plans between Katz and Mandel to keep the Oilers in Edmonton.

I wouldn't mind if there was a team in Seattle, but would prefer a new team or one that plays in the east- cheering for more hockey in the Pacific time zone.

I think anyone wanting to steal secrets about Tim Horton's needs an American operative since it is no longer a Canadian owned company, if I am correct. And I usually am. Hey, with me being so close to pure genius, how come no one is paying me for what I know! I'd spout my unsolicited opinions for $3000 a month! I'd even wear a trench coat and sun glasses....while eating poutine.

Tim Hortons merged with Wendy's some time ago. I don't think either are expanding to Russia.

uno wrote:Hey, with me being so close to pure genius, how come no one is paying me for what I know! I'd spout my unsolicited opinions for $3000 a month! I'd even wear a trench coat and sun glasses....while eating poutine.

I think they are afraid of pure geniuses...

He may have understated his income for tax purposes. What is the allowable for 'spy revenue'?

It's not us they wanted. It's only our guy. See we are part of the Five Eye (Canada,US,AU,NZ,GB) as well as nato. AND are the US closest when it comes to information. We have information that the US only shares to us.

Apparently Canada is one of the most spied-upon countries in the world.

Schipperkesue wrote:Apparently Canada is one of the most spied-upon countries in the world.

Well, we ARE quite good looking.

Are we talking spying or stalking, Fowler?

This morning they were saying that maybe they suckered this rube in with a kind of bait and switch routine. First they asked for help with information on the Russian mob- totally legit- then their requests for info became more and more dodgey.

.

That's it!!!

They were after the Red River Cereal formula!

Do your worst! I'll never tell!

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Ah but what KIND of wheat? Red Fife? Amazon? Helios? I'll never tell.

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Fowler wrote:Ah but what KIND of wheat? Red Fife? Amazon? Helios? I'll never tell.

GMO wheat perhaps?

Its the "CHEEZIES" they're after!

Dark Wing Duck wrote:Its the "CHEEZIES" they're after!

The fluffy, light ones that are mostly air, or the heavy, salty corn based ones?

Personally I would spy on a country for cheezies! Mmmmm!

Mmmm...Cheezies.

Schipperkesue wrote:

Dark Wing Duck wrote:Its the "CHEEZIES" they're after!

The fluffy, light ones that are mostly air, or the heavy, salty corn based ones?

Personally I would spy on a country for cheezies! Mmmmm!

There is only one kind!
Light, mostly air ones?!? sheesh!!!