Life moment chuckle

When i first brought Darrell home. I was only 18. We all sat around the table with coffee. Darrell was quite nervous. He was telling a story and using his hands as he spoke. He knocked over his coffee, spreading it across the table. My mom said she knew at that moment she liked him and he would fit in fine!

Having two boys, i'm on the other end of the spectrum. I can only imagine what their intended's parents will be thinking when my beloved little fools walk in!

  I am suppressing a scream. I am trying to keep in mind what Authentic said. If I state my motherly opinion outright, it will just make him all the more attractive.

Horse Daughter ( from here on in known as Child Who Was Dropped On Head At Birth) is outside shovelling poop. He is standing there and watching her. The second poo fork is apparently being preserved for a later time. He's the only person I've met who can shovel shit while his hands are in his pockets. It's like magic. Guess what? I know people. I can make a call. Boyfriend will just go poof and disappear. Like magic.

STOP! STOP! Must not have these thoughts! Must not make that call to Luigi, wait, I mean , uh, what's his name when he's not being a hitman for hire....Burt? I am sure BF is a nice guy. Nice guy. Nice and stands there while his girlfriend swings a fork. In this situation who needs a 2x4 to the head more? I'd say it's a toss up! (oh please, Gordon, just let her move out, I can't stand this anymore!)

Maybe it just hasn't occurred to him that he *should* help. Go out there and hand him a fork and tell him what to do.

Keep finding him jobs until he stops showing up.

Like ... rotating the rocks on the driveway. With a rake.

Sounds like the typical guy! She just hasn't relised she CAN drop the shovel and walk away with expectation that if it's not done there is a raw package of bacon waiting for him in his lunch kit the next day.
Haven't you seen road workers? Four men to one shovel!

Uno what a journey this is.  I have two teenage sons.  Still a little way from having serious girl friends.  I only hope they find themselves in the situation where their girlfriends folks are patient and don't clobber them over the head if they are not aware they have revealed their level of immaturity as he has -  did you tell him your religeon is mafia?  -  joke :-).  If it were my son in your home I'd wish you to hand him the fork and say if you don't pull your weight you don't eat here (maybe in a slightly less "in your face!" kind of way) but it's just house rules.   Everyone mucks in and we all share a good meal.  Sounds like it has gone on long enough for him to feel too comfortable about being lazy.  
Sorry if this is unwanted thoughts.   Every time I read your posts on him I feel a little frustrated by his behavior and worried at the same time cause I have teenage boys and don't want them shredded by the girlfriends folks for whatever irritating thing they are doing (it is inevitable methinks) and yet, they can be assisted into growing up in a kind way.  Old enough to have a girlfriend, old enough to be a little gallant too  -  don't mean slave so she can stand by and watch him do all the work but even steven's.  I'm  "straight up" about things like this. My kids worry a little about what I'll say to their friends!   -  or the guy in the street who is drunk and behaving irresponsibly in front of kids, or the person who is treating their dog in a harsh and abusive way . . . all that stuff.  they've seen me do it and I have had to tone it down and have learned to talk straight before the volcano blows its head off and there are bits of boyfriend all over the farm!    -  or drunk guy in the street . . .

Magdelan, I have to be so careful. Don't want to say the wrong thing. Like, when he slammed the door of my truck so hard I thought the window would shatter and I slowly and carefully made eye contact and said, in a very kind, even voice, "If you ever do that again, I am going to slug you in the head." According to Daughter, this was not the best thing to say. Hmmm. I thought it got the point across.

I think my job now, as HARD as it is, is to step back and let it happen. Horse Daughter is not known to be a shrinking violet. I guess when she gets tired of working a fork while he conducts an experiment in gravitational pull, she'll let him know. And I'll drive him to the hospital.

It would be one thing if these two were bumbling teens. Neither is a teen. Both know better by now! Boneheads.

Sorry Uno, I should have known you were this far into it and kept my trap shut.  This is supposed to be a safe place to vent.  You sound as though you are on it and I didn't fully realize they are not exactly babies.  I guess if I look at my journey with my own boyfriends  -  my parents did what you are doing and I was grateful.  Must have taken them untold courage to step back and see that I had to have the experience, whatever they could see I was headed for in their minds.  Must admit I like being able to make my own mistakes and draw my own conclusions  -  how ever many times I have to do it.

Sounds like a delicate road of diplomacy ahead of you. methinks you are just not the one to be taken advantage of either.  Bet he doesn't slam your truck door ever again  

I blame his mother. Or at least his parents. Suspect this is how their relationship works - mother shovels, father watches and gives advice. Although maybe he is just so taken by girlfriend he is rendered weak and stands in awe? Hmmmm.. maybe not. As others have said, I think you are doing well to bite your tongue with respect to direct comments.

BUT - it IS your truck and if he slams the door you have a right to ask that your possessions be treated with respect, with whatever emphasis you feel is needed! You may have to let him steamroll over Horsey Daughter but you don't have to let him steamroll you. You may wish to raise that distinction with daughter.

Can you articulate what she sees in him yet?

I should really quit writing this stuff. If Horse Daughter ever sees it I will be disowned!

Boyfriend is not a bad sort. Not mean spirited. Just a little..well, he hasn't had 35 years to grow into himself yet.

Late last evening I did tactfully (Magdelan, for me tactful is a stretch!) inquire why boy was standing while she was shovelling. She said she does not mind shovelling if he pushes the wheelbarrow and dumps (it's a muddy, uphill slope with a full load to the manure pile). She also says it bothers her when people have bad poo scooping technique and frankly, he has no clue. It is faster to do it alone than have him scattering and chasing rolling turds. So she is happy that he is on wheelbarrow duty and therefore does not feel slighted that he is not shovelling.

Heda..I think we need to get together for wine and to solve the world's problems. Being the mother of an extremely challenging child who did NOT turn out the way I planned, I no longer blame the mom. No doubt there are mom's who roll their eyes as they see their kids acting in ways they were told not to act! Sure, there are some moms who are crap at it, but for the most part most moms try very hard to do right by their kids. I don't think this guy was raised by wolves, he is very polite with please and thank you and clears his plate and all that. He's just a door slammer and cigar smoker. I think I can beat that out of him. If HD doesn't, that is. (young people. ugh!)

Oh, what does she see in him? I think the battered cowboy boots and enormous, silver belt buckle have dazzled her. Plus, he cuddles and scratches her horses, rides them too.  

Well that actually sounds quite reasonable from daughter. Clearly you were not watching the entire sequence from shoveling to dumping. After all, it gives her a chance to rest and stand with hands in pockets and give advice. It is hard being a perfectionist, even about poo shoveling!

One day Uno I will turn up at your door with a bottle of wine and we will straighten out the whole world. But until I find a hired man or woman who can look after my animals in the way I expect I won't be going anywhere...

Heda, get yourself a young, cigar smoking, buckle wearing know-it-all and pound him into the hired hand you need! I think if you get one under 25, they can be trained.

I agree. Problem is we are so isolated young people get terribly lonely and either adopt unsavoury habits or disappear....