Life moment chuckle

Maybe some of you, as your kids find partners and launch into the world have had moments like this that you can identify with. We had a moment. well, Hub did.

First thing to know, Horse Daughter has a new guy who has been hanging around here quite a bit. He is underfed and gawky. He is 20 and considers himself a mechanic.

Other thing to know, Hub IS a mechanic. He makes his living pulling wrenches. Not in a nice, clean shop on computer chipped modern machines. Oh no. He lays in the mud and filth and snow or blazing heat in a messy mill yard and pulls wrenches on equipment that was built when dinosaurs roamed the earth. He gets machines, in pieces, hauled in by semis and assembles them into working equipment. He fixes, and curses, the half a$$, moronic, dirtbag work that many self proclaimed 'mechanics' inflict on the world. And sadly, it is looking like Boyfriend is one such mechanic.

HD's truck quit. Alternator. In a show of skinny chested bravado, Boyfriend announces that the alternator is completely piled, needs to be replaced, is extremely rare and no replacement can be found, thus, the truck is a lost cause.

Hub takes a look. The alternator is fine. It's missing the pulley. It is not rare. He makes a phone call. He goes to fetch the un-rare pulley. In the meantime I am being told, by BF, as he puffs a cigar, that he knows about alternators. Oh yes he does, practically a world expert on alternators and he's telling me, those bearings are seized, end of story, Hub will NOT be able to repair that alternator! No way. Not going to happen.

Hub comes home and repairs alternator. Boyfriend attempts to help and after using the wrong tools on the wrong parts and continuing to yank wildly on nuts and bolts after being told to STOP, he came this close to being clunked on the head with a 3/4 inch box end wrench. Hub fires up truck. Un-repairable, rare alternator seems to be just fine.

Hub comes in and says, "30 years. 30 years I've pulled wrenches. I've built and re-built more machines than years that kid's been alive. And he's going to tell me that he knows what he's doing as he uses the wrong wrench on a nut? At least when I was 20 and thought I knew it all, I had the good sense to keep my mouth shut because, as it turns out, the old guys knew what they were talking about.  I WAS WRONG! 30 years and he's telling me you can't repair an alternator? Where does she find these guys?!"

Ah, kids.

is this the same boyfriend who went to the hospital the other day?

Bahahaha! Kids ....

I feel for your husband. Know it alls. They drive me crazy too. Nothing makes me crazier than a new expert who regurgitates information that I HAVE TOLD THEM PREVIOUSLY back to me with an all knowing air of authority. The nerve! they don't even remember i told them this particular nugget of information a couple months ago. This happens with regular monotony. It makes me nuts.

Schipperkesue wrote: Nothing makes me crazier than a new expert who regurgitates information that I HAVE TOLD THEM PREVIOUSLY back to me with an all knowing air of authority.  The nerve!  they don't even remember i told them this particular nugget of information a couple months ago.

Sounds like the guy we used to work for.  
Uno, don't know what it is with kids these days. I wonder if it is the whole 'look it up on the internet so I know it' thing.
Magdelan, I was wondering if it was the hospital guy too.

I think the "I saw it on the internet and therefore it must be true!" people drive me crazier than the regurgitators. People. Snopes.com. Look it up before you pass it on.

Of course, when you get a regurgitator who also thinks everything on the internet is true, all in one little package, I'm likely to lose my sh!t.

And this is how you know I'm getting old and cantankerous. Soon, I'm going to start playing the "I've had horses for 20 years and I know better than you!" card whenever someone disagrees with me. Even if they're right.

Yup, this is hospital guy. Ooh, that's his new name, Hospital Guy. I like giving all the people in my life titles. I have Meat Man, he cuts the meat at the grocery store. Gas Boy, he pumps my gas. Tire Guy, he sells me tires. And my favorite, Fruit Boy. He used to stock the produce section at the grocery store. He was very friendly and helpful. One day I saw him in town and he was with a bunch of his friends and I said, "Hi there, Fruit Boy." Later, at the store he said it was okay to call him Fruit Boy, but maybe not in front of his friends, okay? Well gee.

Hospital Boy will grow up and get smart, I hope. He's only 20. Not that long ago he was 12. These things take time. Sigh.

To tell you the truth I didn't like Hospital Boy from the moment you mentioned he was smoking a cigar. It is pretentious for 20 year olds to smoke cigars. That is the privilege of older men. Sheesh!

TO be fair, I should clarify. It was one of those skinny, wine dipped cigars. Not a fat stogie that he had to bite the end off of. I was shovelling horse poop as he was smoking and waxing poetic about alternators. The horse kept trying to chomp his cigar. He was yakking at me and defending his cigar from the horse. It was kind of funny.

uno wrote:Yup, this is hospital guy. Ooh, that's his new name, Hospital Guy. I like giving all the people in my life titles. I have Meat Man, he cuts the meat at the grocery store. Gas Boy, he pumps my gas. Tire Guy, he sells me tires. And my favorite, Fruit Boy. He used to stock the produce section at the grocery store. He was very friendly and helpful. One day I saw him in town and he was with a bunch of his friends and I said, "Hi there, Fruit Boy."  Later, at the store he said it was okay to call him Fruit Boy, but maybe not in front of his friends, okay? Well gee.

Sounds like a list of Super Heroes.

Ah the Know it all... sadly, I`m related to quite a few. I can give them credit for knowing stuff in their field but they also apparently also know my area better than I do. One such is Brother-in-law. He`s the one who was certain that I was dying my Ameraucana eggs. He`s the one that didn`t believe me when I told him that they planted the cedar trees too close to their house("They`re dwarf cedars!" "Right so they'll get 20 to 30 feet tall instead of 40 to 50 feet") I think my fave was when he was telling his kids how they must appreciate all the have because some people have to work so hard, "There are poor people who have to go out and pick silk off the trees etc etc" Later his wife told him, "I didn't want to say anything in front of the kids but silk comes from caterpillars not a plant." His answer? "Well, not that I doubt you but I'll have to look that up."

Uno, I don't know why, but you are a work and a wonder. I love your posts, and don't think I read about all of them. I did not read the one about Hospital Guy, but now I have to do that search and find it, not hard, and then I will have more to say....search Uno Post time, in a minute. You bring a smile to my face, that not everyone can do, hats off to you girl. You are real, you are down to earth, you tell it like it is, and I am blessed to know you. I love how you tell it like it is, with a spark and sparkle that keep me listening. I love how your Husband can wield that wrench, and knows what he is doing, makes me feel pride for him, as I am sure it does for you -- otherwise of him you would not speak of, this is good, this is cool. I do know a few know-it-alls, not many, but enough that it too drives me nuts. Thanks for a good morning hug with your post, that you have given to everyone. And have a beautiful day, whilst at it, to all of us, CynthiaM.

uno wrote: I was shovelling horse poop as he was smoking and waxing poetic about alternators. The horse kept trying to chomp his cigar. He was yakking at me and defending his cigar from the horse. It was kind of funny.

That right there would have p*ssed me off. The young fellow, oops, Hospital Guy, should have jumped in to help. Pushed the wheel barrow or handled a poo fork. At the very least offered to help when seeing someone working while they are gabbing.
I can't stand when people stand around talking while someone else is working. Think to much of Hubby has rubbed off on me.....

As i read your post Uno, I thought about my son who as much as i love him; he drives me kind of crazy. When we are doing a project together he will keep grabbing at the tool i have and say "can i see that?" over and over again..until finally i said "yes"..you can see it..but you cannot have it until i am done with it!
he is almost 30.
i like fruit boy

coopslave wrote:

uno wrote: I was shovelling horse poop as he was smoking and waxing poetic about alternators. The horse kept trying to chomp his cigar. He was yakking at me and defending his cigar from the horse. It was kind of funny.

That right there would have p*ssed me off.  The young fellow, oops, Hospital Guy, should have jumped in to help.  Pushed the wheel barrow or handled a poo fork.  At the very least offered to help when seeing someone working while they are gabbing.  
I can't stand when people stand around talking while someone else is working.  Think to much of Hubby has rubbed off on me.....

At the very least Hospital boy could have offered to go over to your silk orchard and help you harvest your silk crop while you were shovelling poo.

Is the shine wearing off this guy for Horsey Daughter? Maybe she should read this thread.

uno wrote:TO be fair, I should clarify. It was one of those skinny, wine dipped cigars. Not a fat stogie that he had to bite the end off of. I was shovelling horse poop as he was smoking and waxing poetic about alternators. The horse kept trying to chomp his cigar. He was yakking at me and defending his cigar from the horse. It was kind of funny.

I would really like yo know, how you restrained yourself from throwing a shit-nugget at him?

Hopefully he will grow out of that. God gave us two ears and one mouth so we could listen twice as much as we talk.

He needs to meet my neighbour. I know a thing or two about mechanics, but he seems a lot like your hubby and humbles me quite well. However, he wouldn't listen to some young kid telling him he couldn't do something mechanical without giving him not only a 45 minute earful on lessons in ignorance, but an assful of boot out the door to get the parts required.

The terrible thing about having daughters who date is that even if they're dating a loser, you have to let them figure it out on their own. If you straight up tell them you hate the boyfriend, they will just like him more.

authenticfarm wrote:The terrible thing about having daughters who date is that even if they're dating a loser, you have to let them figure it out on their own. If you straight up tell them you hate the boyfriend, they will just like him more.

*Wisdom*

You guys are too funny!

Hospital boy hurt his arm crashing Horse Daughter's dirtbike so is not much use in the shovelling department. Plus, he's a skinny little guy, I have doubts about his poo moving ability.

Authentic, I am learning this. It's sad to stand by and watch stupidity unfold before our very eyes, but as our own parents and countless before them have learned, it is the way of the world. The lessons tht stick the best, hurt the most. But parents hurt too.

I want a job picking silk in Fowler's silk orchard! Can I smoke cigars while I do it?

Only if they are the wine dipped kind!

I need to know - what's your nickname for ME, Uno!?!

I have names like that for people, too.

Apocolypse Guy
Tire House Guy
Turkey Lady
Make Up Girl
Calendar Woman

And so on and so forth ...

I meet more new people on an ongoing basis than most, so identifying people like that helps me remember their names, or gives them another identifier if I have forgotten their name.

My goal is to meet Apocalypse Guy. Anyone who moves to a smaller town because of a smaller population density is a crazy that I need to see with my own eyes. I don't nickname people, maybe I should though...

EDIT- Wait! In school there was a guy that a friend and I called "Guy with the Hair" because he had the wackiest hair!

Pollywog wrote:My goal is to meet Apocalypse Guy. Anyone who moves to a smaller town because of a smaller population density is a crazy that I need to see with my own eyes.

Then I bet a lot of us on here could be thusly named . Myself, for one.  

farmchiq wrote:

Pollywog wrote:My goal is to meet Apocalypse Guy. Anyone who moves to a smaller town because of a smaller population density is a crazy that I need to see with my own eyes.

Then I bet a lot of us on here could be thusly named .  Myself, for one.   

Yep. I'm another.  Number two reason we left the big city and moved to rural SK.

Oh no. Apocolypse Guy moved here because THIS is the best place to be in case of the Apocolypse. So the rest of you must be wrong for moving to your places.

Of course, Apocolypse Guy is also living without electricity and plumbing and turning his waste into compost for his garden, so he may not be a reliable source of information. Lol