Where's your life at right now?

I wanted to write, and to make this an open thread for people to share where they are right now. Maybe others have 'been there done that' and can offer practical words of wisdom or are able to say "I get it." Reading Sue's post about the rig going in to her beautiful view, and then dealing with my situation last night made me think, and, I dunno, just wanted to talk I suppose.

We have a closing date set on the property we're renting. We've managed to obtain private financing from a good friend of ours who surprised us with the offer when we thought we may lose the chance to purchase the place. The 'landlord' has become a royal pain.

We found out not long ago that he's been running his mouth about us in town -- luckily, he thinks we have no friends around, so stuff gets back to us as people are happy to play along. He doesn't really have anything bad to say, but, for example, when we ran out of water in early December, it sparked a rant from him to our friend about how he'll "just go install a new pump on the well and tack it onto the price of the house." Frankly, it wouldn't have been an issue if he had actually filled the cistern up like he said he would, late October.

When we first moved to the property, we purchased a truck which, lovingly, died shortly after we got it home. Lovely. Then stuff happens and fixing a truck you don't -actually- need-need gets pushed to the back burner because other things are more important. I posted a note at the restaurant asking for someone to haul water. Shortly after, I got a text from the landlord asking if that notice was ours and I told him it was. "Oh no problem," he said, "I can haul it for you whenever." He's had to haul for us once in over a year's time, despite him asking several times if we needed water. We just don't use a lot of water, and we'd use even less if not for a leaky tap we haven't fixed yet. From August to October there was a lot of "I'm hauling water for you today" that never happened. Come winter there was "I'll haul water and blow your yard." Never happened. Because we felt he was 'going out of his way,' we never got snippy or asked about it, but just wished he'd stop saying he would if he wasn't going to.

So I got annoyed, posted a new note and he sent another text saying he'd found someone to haul water. Well they never came, and he dropped a name, "Oh, so and so didn't get out there to get you water?" and started running his mouth about how lazy the guy is and how he'll play hero, dig his dying dodge out of a snowbank and put a turtle tank in it so we can haul water. So he finally did, and we did.

This all came to a head last night. There are 2 really different sides to the landlord -- the real side of him, and the side of him when his wife gets hold of him and tells him to stop being a jerk. We stopped in at the grocery store, and the guy there (the so and so mentioned above), said "Oh hey, you're the guys out on <landlord's name>'s farm aren't you?" Well yes we are. "I've been trying to haul water for you, because we haul water now to our own place, but <landlord's name> who I'm buying the tank from hasn't gotten it to me yet." Oh is that a fact. As a person who doesn't have a filter, I'm not quite sure how I didn't open my big fat mouth and say "Well isn't that funny, <landlord's name> just said you were being lazy and couldn't be bothered, would you like to see the texts?"

The other thing is our rent payment is from the 15th to 15th. Our closing date is the 1st of February. We casually mentioned since the closing date is the first, we'll just bring half the months rent, right? "You'd better bring the full amount." If I had a cattle prod, I might have made that boy beg for his life. However, Moose The Level Headed said to leave it alone, we can deal with it after the place is ours. It is so incredibly hard for me not to say what's on my mind, it's what I do, it's who I am. And to have to keep quiet when being disrespected by someone is terribly difficult. In our Rent to Own agreement, we do all of the maintenance if things break, he doesn't owe us any money or refunds for upgrades. The only thing we agreed we couldn't do was tear walls out of the house. We maintained the yard, replaced doors, made aesthetic fixes, restored the old coop and garden shed. I maintained the gardens and we trimmed up the trees. We've paid rent on time (all of which goes into your pocket) and have never been a bother. You volunteered, you weren't asked, to help with water. Yet you feel you have the right to run your mouth about being a hero, talk around town to others about selling it out from under us (despite having a 3 year rental agreement if we don't purchase) and you send nasty texts, speak disrespectfully to my lawyer who I work with at my job, and you demand this sale be done right meow, yet you're taking your sweet aft time getting what they need from you to them.

It's overwhelming. I can't wait for the day we sign the mortgage papers. Next time someone asks, "Hey, you live out on <landlord's names>'s farm, don't you?" I'll be able to answer with: "No, I live on my acreage just past <neighbour's name>'s farm.


Come, tell me your story.

Well, I don't actually have a story, always been pretty happy with things. We have always, well, almost always, never had a landlord, so really can't go there. Our homes we lived in we owned (well bank owned). This is a sad thing really. It is hard to shut up when we just want to scream, I can feel your pain here. But honestly, look on that bright side, you will own the house that you live in soon enough. Then. Let bygones be bygones. You won't have to deal with this rather odd fellow any further. There should be reason to have dealings with him. And still bite your tongue. And I am sure that you will. You can let those things go. This will free you. One of the most hardest things for me to ever have learned in my life is what forgiveness is....yep....it has been a long, hard, road, but I have learned to let things go. There have been many wrong doings to me and mine in my life, and really, that expression "turn the other cheek" has set me free. Free to not harbour bad feelings to those others. You will too, in turn, let all this go.

Now, picture that day when this home will be yours. You will be feeling so much more differently. Your hard work of the things you and yours have done to the home and acreage will pay off. It will be yours, in the eyes of the law, with the purchase. And won't that be a beautiful day? soon it will come, soon things will pass. It is good to have a place to vent your feelings, we listen...with that girl, have a most awesome day, thinking of that day to come. CynthiaM.

Some years ago, my dad suggested we pool our resources together to buy a home. Dad always had a thing for wanting to live in the country. Mom didn't as she hated the idea. I wanted a home had no clue and my husband even less than a clue. We put everything in dad's hands to handled. Knew it was a mistake but as I said, I really was clueless asto how one goes about legally buying a home. First home didn't last 6 months. It was a "rent-to-own" deal with a shaddy jerk of a landlord. The end came when the furnace was inspected and condemded as it was leaking gas. He blamed us for costing him the replacement. Since everything was done under the table, we got taken and had to move.

That is when the home I own now, came into the picture. Again, dad made the deal with a real estate company that was less than above board. Turned out the people who "supposingly" owned the house, didn't. They were buying from the owner themselves. This was back in the day of assumable mortagages so it became a paper trail to find out who really owned what? Then we found out everything was illegal as the lawyer used by the real estate company who suggested could be our lawyer was also representing the people who we first believed were the owners. Long story short, muddle through till finally we were in the house as the new buyers. It all fell through in a year when the owner began disputing owing of property taxes. Another story.

My dad had a friend who wanted to add "real estate" owner to his list of investments. He bailed us out by buying the property, becoming the owner, and keeping us as tenants. The guy was creepy, usually drunk, but we had his word that as long as we stayed the tenants that he would keep the rent at $450. For 10 years, the rent stayed the same. He never showned up on the property except once to just actual see what he bought. We could do anything we wanted to the house and property. He didn't care. He owned property and that made him happy to brag about.

The only draw problem was he never wanted to repair anything that needed to be fixed. When the roof to the house leaked it was "Can you throw a tarp on it?" Same with the barn. When the pressure in the well failed, "Can you do something about the pump?" When the furnace would break down, "Does it really need to be fixed before winter?" We would patch up what could be. Dad would always go to negotiate with his friend. Sometimes repayment would be knock a few dollars off the rent, but usually he would send us meat and maybe a few dollars. Still we were okay with it as we liked our home and the fact he never bothered us.

Then he died.
Enter the wife.

Dad's friend had an open marriage. Neither could stand the other. She stayed because of the money and he stayed because he wasn't about to let her take his money in a divorce. The day he died, she called saying that nothing was going to change as she wanted to keep our arrangement the same. That included a promise that if the house were ever sold, we would have first consideration. This last nearly a day to the first year he passed away when she called again to say "You don't mind if a friend happens to put a for sale up there just to see how much I could get for the place IF I were to think about selling it?"

The games began.

I have never, EVER, had been put through so much stress and anxiety in my life as this hag put us through. Yes, I refer to her as a hag! At every phone call. At every meeting with the lawyers. At conversations that would get back to us. She lied about how we used her dear husband in how run down the property had become. How we took advantage of him. How she was left to struggle with finances and that the house had to be sold for at least $200,000 in order for her settle things. The same amount needed for her grown daughter from her first marriage needed to open a hair salon that the banks wouldn't fund her on.

Over 10 years time, I was no longer clueless. I knew where my dad, though well meaning as he was, had no real clue how to do a legal purchase of a house. [another story itself.] I took advice that loan officers gave me on little things one can do to make it look like you have a down when you are a bit short. Learned a bit about purchase law. So when she showed up at the door with a agent from Remax that was out of his area [found out later that was a no-no by the company] I let him go through the house to make his evaluation. Imagine my delight when he summed up that the property was worth less than what our offer was for and if she was smart to take it. The 10 years of patch work repairs agreed on by her late husband really sank the house and especially the barn.

What would have taken a couple of months to finalize the sale, took 6 because this hag kept flip-flopping with her lawyers. She would try to change the agreed on sale price, then yak to people we were robbing her. She would fail to turn up to her lawyer to sign paperwork, then lay the blame on us for costing her money she desperately needed as a window. It was bad drama. We were all stress as we just didn't want to move. We didn't want to give up our animals. Mor than once I would become physically ill when I would hear the phone ring thnking it was another delay on account of her. Finally, our lawyer told hers that there would be penalties per day if the final paperwork wasn't signed. We had legal rights to start deducting from our final offer as we were now recognized as the legal owners as the bank had started taking our mortage payments.

She finally signed off. It was October. It was the spring when we heard our last about the whole ordeal. My dad and husband bumped into one of her sons. Heard home his mom, the hag, was broke. The sale money from the house all gone to the daughter with the hair salon. Daughter took the money and her boyfriend and ran just as the hag's late husband said she would do. Mom spent her late husband's money and only had the house in the city left. The son blamed us for ripping his mom off of the money she deserved on the property we bought because we low balled her on the sale price. Forget what her own real estate agent from Remax said.

Still reading my novel? *hee hee* Promise I'll wind it up. It took me a good 6 months before I woke up one day and got the shakes. I realized the nightmare was over. I was a home owner. Yes, there were bad things said about us. It bothered me, but it wasn't I took the higher ground. I knew the lady was a hag and her words were trash at best. As much as I would have loved to slag this woman off when I could have then wouldn't have help me. Her own actions became her own worse enemy. I have also learned this in other situations as well. Sometimes it is better to hold off on what you really want to say. File it for possible use later. Sooner or later, these people will say or do something that will leave them looking the fool by their own hand.

So sorry to hear about your troubles everyone. I always adhere to the philosophy of "that what goes around comes around" and in the toybarons we see that is true.
Sweetened I hate to say this but I don't think you will ever see the last half month of your rent but I do hope so for your sake.
For us we are still working to build our house, been 7 years now and another 3 to go. Feel sorry for our youngest as she has had to do without. Told her that the house and this land will belong to her when she is probably in her late twenties, just turned 15. She will have a house of approximately 10 years old that will be bought and paid, with 150 acres of land.

foal0069 wrote:So sorry to hear about your troubles everyone. I always adhere to the philosophy of "that what goes around comes around" and in the toybarons we see that is true.
Sweetened I hate to say this but I don't think you will ever see the last half month of your rent but I do hope so for your sake.
For us we are still working to build our house, been 7 years now and another 3 to go. Feel sorry for our youngest as she has had to do without. Told her that the house and this land will belong to her when she is probably in her late twenties, just turned 15. She will have a house of approximately 10 years old that will be bought and paid, with 150 acres of land.

That's wonderful. I hope she understands how fortunate she will be. I know when we got our house back, it took us 10 years to pay it off. We went without a lot and took on a debit to do it. So many big repairs were needed and we simply didn't have the funds. Repairs had to be planned while other nursed along will we could afford to do them. The house is now paid. We managed to pay off a chunk of our debit due to my husband's inheritance and the thoughfulness of his brother who shared that inheritance. He waived fees he could have rightfully taken as executor since he inheritate the family home which was on prime real estate in downtown Toronto [sold for $500.000.] Those fees would have cut the other borthers inheritances in half.

We still have a way to go, but ownership of your own little acre is a good feeling to wake up to everyday.

.

Sweetened, in the vernacular of my mill working daughter, that sucks balls.

CynthiaM has advised you to show gracious, higher ground conduct. Okay. Maybe. Sometimes. But me being more a fighter than a turn-the-other-cheeker, I will say that 'letting things go' depends greatly on a huge variety of factors. I do not always let things go. If someone wants to fling poo on me, sometimes I fling back.


Really, Sweetened, you don't have to get angry or loud. You just have to say some very deliberate things. Next time you are in the place where that water man who was going to bring you water is...say something about your Landlord like..."Isn't it so sad about Mr. Pooface? Did you hear he's been diagnosed as a multiple personality? He goes around saying bad things about people and telling lies to stir up drama and cause trouble? I hope he stays on his meds and can live a normal life. The poor man. Here he was telling me the reason we didn't get water was because you were a no good for nothing lazy turd. And all the while it was because he hadn't gotten you the tank to haul with. I'm sure glad I know just how sick he is because I've had to quit believing anything he says. I just hope other people realize how sick he is and what a twisted mentality people like him have. Poor guy."

Would I do something that evil? I have. I'm not sorry. I'm just sorry CynthiaM has missed out on the juicy thrill this can be. Hee hee hee (evil Uno laughter) Sometimes you let things go, and other times you plant a small, quiet seed and watch its roots reach deep and destroy a foundation. While I am all for forgiveness, I am against being walked on. It's one thing to have your toes stepped on now and then, that happens to all of us in our dealings with humanity. But when someone outright pushes you in the dirt and steps on your face, get up swinging! Only you can decide where this lands on your ignore it or GAME ON! scale.

Aside from that, I am astonished the people who enter into ANY sort of financial dealings or real estate situations on the strength of a handshake. In the words of my dearly departed dad, GET A LAWYER AND GET IT IN WRITING!

I feel like I'm living in a whirlwind of tornado activity! I am just in my final practicum of nursing school (2 days, 2 nights, 4 off), working 1 day of my 4 off, and the other 2 to sleep and catch up on 'everything else' - chickens, dogs, fish tank, kitty litter, laundry, assignments, etc. We are in the middle of trying to find new tenants, our current tenants haven't put in their notice but have told us they are looking for a new house. Overall it's a good thing as they are not punctual with paying rent, and though they take reasonably good care of the place, it looks dumpy with their un-licensed vehicles around the yard Mostly I just can't handle the stress of not knowing if/when they will pay all/part of their rent when owning the property itself costs us about $500/month even after they pay their rent. (Yes - we have had it for sale for 6 months, the market in that area is horrible and if we are going to loose 30,000 to sell it we might as well keep it and only loose $500/month for a few years not ideal but ...... ). We are also trying to find a decent house to buy in Edmonton. It's tricky on the financing end because we own here and I'm in school and essentially make next to nothing as a vet assistant 1 day every week. So we are looking and looking out there, as it comes into spring it becomes a seller's market there and houses are starting to sell fast... as in I send him a link and before he gets off his shift the house is sold. The last "favorite" house I picked out sold 2 days after listing. I guess I have good taste.....

Anyways, I know that everything will work out just how it's supposed to. That doesn't always make it easy, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting an ulcer, but in another 5 months I will actually have made something of myself and will be graduating as an RN! Kinda makes me tearful thinking about it and looking back on the last 4 years. Wow.

But, until then I'll be here plugging along at life. I am in the maternity ward for this practicum which is pretty amazing. I am really enjoying it so far, and hoping for a few busy shifts between now and the end of practicum. Getting ready for my RN exam, and trying to sleep sometimes too.

Here is my song of the day....
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] "Take a Minute"

Sometimes I feel like its a full time job trying to keep Sweetened's emotions in check when it comes to this situation but more often than not I share her frustrations. I've made a career out of being that guy with a fuse a mile long who can take a customers abuse without batting an eye but everyone has their breaking point and I've almost reached mine as well. Like I said I can stay calm and level headed in most situations but the constant disrespect we've been shown over the last couple of months is wearing on me.

We did make sure we were very careful when entering into this agreement, everything was drawn up by a lawyer and we've made sure we have held up every last bit of our side of the agreement. Truthfully there's nothing the owner can do at this point, this farm will be ours and very soon. The only unfortunate part is after all is said and done he will still end up being our neighbor on three sides, not ideal but it won't change what's ours will be ours. What will change will be my attitude and response if his disrespect continues after the purchase is complete, because as calm and collected as I usually am I will be your worst nightmare if you push me. I do believe however that what goes around comes around and this guys disrespect for others eventually won't serve him well in this small rural town....too many ears and flapping gums.

We also know your pain Briarwood when it comes to the stresses of renting properties, you see we are not just some tenant who doesn't see things from a landlords point of view. We own another house in a town about an hour from our new place, its been a thorn in our side for a long time now. It's also part of the reason we had trouble obtaining our financing for this place as we had some flood damage and had a claim with Provincial disaster assistance...which by the way we got screwed on royally. Basically we have a house that isn't worth much if anything, isn't worth putting money into and there isn't a chance in hell of us selling it for anything close to what's left on the mortgage. We decided to also rent it out when approached by a friend who had a co-worker in desperate need of a new place, we figured 'why not'. Yeah well 4 months, 2 late payments and totally skipping out on the 4th later we have a vacant house full of junk we now have to cleanup.

But enough complaints....I'm still somehow an optimist at heart despite life in general. I always try and look on the bright side and am working on Sweetened sharing that view, I'm 32, will soon be working on owning my 3rd property and a farm to boot. I also just started a great new career making great money so things are looking up....only a couple more bumps to go over. I keep telling Sweetened she ain't doing too bad either, 26 and this will be her second property and her dream realized in having her own farm. One day I will get her to lighten up!

To quote Uno, it may suck balls right now, but I like your attitude. Hold your tongue cause it's so close to be complete and yours. Then once the deed is yours, you'll remember what BS was said.

All the best guys =)

Thank you, everyone, for sharing. I have empathy for all of you, and envy of Cynthia .

I wanted to elaborate on what Moose said about the renters, because I didn't know how it came across. The renters viewed the home and knew the damage that was in it. I also told them I had no interest in renting and would probably bulldoze the place. He figured he had one up on us -- he had a construction background restoring foundations and handling flood damage, easy peasy, he said. It would be like he owned the place and we'd collect the rent, put it straight to the mortgage and it'd be paid off in 4 years -- they'd then own the house.

I didn't want to sound like a slumlord, as we weren't, and I was worried it may have sounded that way.

Toybarons, your story breaks my heart, but I'm so glad it turned out in the end. I know what you mean by being physically ill at the sound of a phone call -- for me, it's the text sound on my cell.

Briarwood, I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. I wish you all the best. I hope you'll feel free to vent anytime.

Foal, you're probably right -- but word can spread quickly about such a dastardly deed...

And Uno: Thank you

Mind boggling reading all of this. I guess I've been pretty lucky for this stuff. I do know those people are out there though. I remember neighbors up home that were fine enough to talk to but I would never try and do business with them in a million years. Lots of slippery people out there.

Sweetened, the unscrupulous man who sold us this house and property is our neighbor on 3 sides as well. I won't go into details about what we have been through, but perhaps the gratest mercy is the fact he lives on the other side of town, 20 minutes away.

Fowler wrote:Mind boggling reading all of this. I guess I've been pretty lucky for this stuff. I do know those people are out there though. I remember neighbors up home that were fine enough to talk to but I would never try and do business with them in a million years. Lots of slippery people out there.

Agreed.

Schipperkesue wrote:Sweetened, the unscrupulous man who sold us this house and property is our neighbor on 3 sides as well. I won't go into details about what we have been through, but perhaps the gratest mercy is the fact he lives on the other side of town, 20 minutes away.

Sue, I'm not sure if you're a hugger, but I feel like I want to give you one right now. Please accept this e-hug.

uno wrote:
Would I do something that evil? I have. I'm not sorry. I'm just sorry CynthiaM has missed out on the juicy thrill this can be. Hee hee hee (evil Uno laughter) Sometimes you let things go, and other times you plant a small, quiet seed and watch its roots reach deep and destroy a foundation. While I am all for forgiveness, I am against being walked on. It's one thing to have your toes stepped on now and then, that happens to all of us in our dealings with humanity. But when someone outright pushes you in the dirt and steps on your face, get up swinging!

These are sorrowful things that happen to us, and there have been little stories told by our forum friends, that just make you want to shrink, cringe away from the human breed of life. Never can and never will understand how human kind can have such awful sides to them, I speak of the kind that are mean, and downright mean and do mean things, did you get that I think there are meannies out there

Oh Uno, trust me, I have not missed out on the juicy thrill of payback. I have planted those seeds too, and watched them grow, probably not as nurtured as to bring down a foundation, of anything, but yes..I have a side to me too, and if anyone knew that side of me, they would never dare to do me wrong. But for the most part, and being a Libra, this helps too, that harmony, earth, I can let things go. But I know there have been times, when that little spirit of fury has set forth on a path, accomplished. Those were in younger years. As age comes, I think that less and less contact with crap people, and yes I would call them crap, and wisdom, keeping wisdom inside for the most part, I can now more easily turn the other cheek. There is less done to me, and more I am willing to ignore. Interesting, but I feel pretty much at peace with how my life has turned. Things in the past, well that is history, and it won't repeat, and I have let history go.

Karma. Yes, she is a beautiful woman. All things work out in the wash, yes, I believe that too. I believe deeply in what goes around comes around, and there is a day, one fine day, when Karma, things that work out in the wash, and the things that come around and go around, will have their day. But til then....let things go if you can, one bad deed breeds another bad deed. Have an awesome day, CynthiaM.

Oh I too have my tales of owning property. But I too also have a wonderful man who almost always has this sickening view of the glass being half full And every once in a while my dark side shows thru and I have to just walk away.He is the one who gave me this skill and believe me its a skill. Having said that we are such a couple that when at home I can say my peace but with that I also have to listen and take from the rational side, but every once in a while wouldn't it just be nice to have a knock down drag out temper tantrum.

I too am a believer of Karma. I try to make sure that mine stays good now. Having children has taught me a lot about reacting and who you react too.

We have just about got our property paid for and are currantly looking for a new piece of land. I am wanting bigger and better. Now to me bigger and better is a raw piece of land that you can access with out having to drive thru someones else's property. I don't want something thats already been logged and just looks like and old logging block. Picky yes I know

I have put alot of blood, sweat and tears into this property and am proud of it. we had renters once(family) and never again will I ever be that nice. When I can back my house had be mutalated. This moron use 6" decking screws to put up raw chunks of wood for so called shelving, fed a groundhog so that it would eventually make its burrow beside my foundation, oh and the 6' spikes that held up pictures in the dinning room .

I had just had my baby when they bailed on us without even telling us. Hubby says we can't afford both lives so we have to go back. OK umm I guess we should do a drive up so we can see if it needs any work. ahhhh are you freakin kidding me its trashed. I burst into tears there was no holding it back. I knew I had a good month of work ahead of us before we even moved back in.

So we have since recovered, my wounds are mended and my house has never looked better even though I have yet to redo the floors, windows , doors and bathroom I'm gonna stop there .....

I have invested in a free standing heavy bag as well as a hanging one. I took up kickboxing as a stress reliever. Its amazing what you are willing to put with when you have the ability to beat the ever lovin tar out of something thats not going to land you in jail

Hang in there Moose and Sweetened you sound like good people it will work out just takes some time.

Wow. So sorry to hear of everyone's troubles! It has made me extra grateful to live my amazing life.

Sure, there are always little daily annoyances and frustrations, and never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I want to do (I am the Queen of Productivity) but no slimy landlords here!

This week, I taught the baby (9.5 months old) to cluck like a chicken (bok bok bok, except she hasn't mastered the K sound yet, so it's baw baw baw), so life is pretty much a win right now.

Hello Wrench. *Cry*

From my lawyer:
"<Landlord's Name> started the subdivision and had it approved but they never finished the deal. There has to be a transform submitted to ISC in order to have the Titles raised. This process will create two separated titles, one being for the home that you are purchasing and the other for the land that will still belong to <Landlords Name>."

This is soooo agonizing! I keep trying to remember what you all went through and believe it'll all go right.

Sweetened wrote:

Sue, I'm not sure if you're a hugger, but I feel like I want to give you one right now. Please accept this e-hug.

Right back atcha, Sweetened. Thank-you!

Sometimes when something is so-o-oo very hard to do, there's a reason, and maybe it's because there's something better out there waiting for you to make yourself available to it.

I have worked hard to be where I'm at and it does NOT include a landlord or being beholden to anyone.

I agree wholeheartedly with Cindi's (which is probably why we're friends) philosophy. It's true that 2 wrongs don't make a right, and I subscribe to the idea (or at least I WORK to subscribe to the idea) that the only person who suffers when I don't forgive someone is ME.

Life can sure be hard sometimes. I try to keep my attitude and heart light. Seems to be working, because I have the most amazing life. And yes, it has it's share of divorces, losses, battles and hard feelings. But I dwell on the good friends, healthy food, pets, trouble-free vehicles, and a steady paycheque.

Sweetened hang in there. *hugg* Hang in there.

Honestly, if my life went without a hitch or something going sideways, I would be worried what was wrong? I have never had anything just happen without something adverse being a part of it. OR something happen that is so out in left field.

Seems like there are more than a few of us gals with guys having rainbows out their butts, eh? Sunny side and all skittles? When I met mine nearly 30 years ago, I was all dark and gloomy romantic. The type that saw the beauty in blood dripping rose that had pushed its way up through the frozen snow. My Bruce was so not! He was and still is very reserve and always believes that no matter how bad things seem that they will find a way of working themselves out for the best.
Love our guys

I dug up this old thread because I needed to write about it. This is the abridged, Sweetened on a tangent version.

Sometime in January, Landlord got extra snippy and demanded January 15th as closing date. Lawyer said to Landlord, February 1st be better and Landlord said Eff Ewe! Go to Landlord's house to sign closing date papers, papers say February 1st and Landlord is all smiles and muffin farts.

Go to lender, lender hands certified $45,000 dollar cheque to me. I panic, I lose everything, this is not an 'everything' to lose. "Moose, hold this." Moose holds that.

Lawyer says "Bahahaha, Landlord is kidding, subdivision NOT done." Wut... Oh yes, and because he hasn't submitted it to Land Titles, it can take MONTHS to complete. Oh great. Get cheque back from lawyer, give back to lender, keep paying rent. Snowstorm, worst in 60 some odd years, downs business to Lender so lender dips in (can't blame him). It'll take months anyway, so we'll be fine.

Landlord contacts us, says FCC isn't releasing homestead, blah blah blah, more delays blah blah. Suddenly message from lawyer, starts with "Woooo hooooo!" *Facepalm, headdesk* You said MONTHS. Clearly, Land titles gets to the title and goes "Mmm... nope, talk to FCC" *Sits on top of check daily pile instead of throwing it to the bottom of the patch*

We're sitting 10 g short until early May when Lender says he'll have the money again. We had a conversation with Lender "PUH NO PROBLEM, this won't be done until like, June, anyway." *Next day, letter comes* Landlord's lawyer says "DONE BY 15TH OR GTF OUT" with angry grumpy cat face (but less funny). Landlord shows up on Saturday to push snow down to his bales, parks inexplicably outside our yard until Moose goes out and talks to him. Landlord is all flibbidy floo nonchalant. Landlord says "Oh whenever, we've been waiting this long, we're in no rush blah blah conversation of friendliness blah blah." Wut...

RAHHHHHHH I am very angry at Landlord and games he plays. I thought, briefly, I should be mad at Lender, however I am not and don't think I should be. Lender is friend, who runs own small business in small community who did not have to do this and offered it, unexpectedly, when I called to ask him if he wanted all my true potato seed, as I wouldn't be able to work on the project as we'd be moving. Correction, I am mad at Lender. Lender made it seem like this monies wouldn't potentially put him into financial ruin if he didn't have it, which is clearly not the case. We talked to Lender about this, I barked at Lender and Lender shrugged and said "Don't care, want to." Lender is good friend, good person with which Moose and I spend good Times. If Landlord would have had his crap together when Landlord (demandingly so) said we had to, this would be non issue.

AM SO FRUSTRATED. We're -ALMOST- there and all this bullspit keeps happening. Is driving me ape, bonkers, nutso, insane. I just want my farm. I want my chickens and rabbits. I want the snow to go away so I can plant my gardens, I want my goat to kid, and I want Landlord's crap off my land and no trespassing signs and a sign with a picture of Papa dog that says "If you can see this sign it's already too late," and beware of dog signs and a trespassers will be shot and survivors shot again sign. I want to install blockade fencing, guarded by angry, unsocialized emus and I want Landlord out of our lives.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

It is frustrating when people do not do what they say, or at least do their best to try.

I truely used to believe that if I could go back in life I would not change things becasue what I have done, been through etc makes me who I am. I am saddend, but I can firmly say that I no longer hold to that belief:(

Coming up on 5 years ago, my CL husband and I bought a quarter section with his parents. BAD idea. I did not trust my instincts and have spent the last 5 years paying for it. The short version is that I had concerns and openly asked the questions and was given somewhat satisfactory answers that completely went out the window when we all lived on the property. Apparently they forgot a bunch of the conversations and "deals". I was to be a total submissive like I was moving onto their 3 generational farm or something! I found the property, my CL bought it and carried their portion for 6 months until their city house sold. I could write a dozen pages with the stories.

Of course, everything is my fault...I am the "outsider" and caused all the problems. Yeah, whatever. I guess in a way I am at fault. I knew better than to let the property deal go through with them. I just wanted to live in the county and have some critters and raise my children. I was assured that the neighbours/in-laws would not interfear in our lives or tell us how we needed to keep our yard and house, etc. The problems started right away.

I compramised as far as I could but will not live my life being belittled, threatened and other much less polite words.

The idea was to have complete control over all things. All things their way. I am not joking or exagrating here. Firing range beside my house, many heated activities because of this. It was the only peice of relativly flat, clear peice of land in the yard site so they claimed it as theirs.

I have done and said things in the past 5 years that I would like to never repeat. I have been extremely disrespectful but there is only so far I can be pushed without fighting back.

It has been more horrible than good! If I could go back I would wipe out the last 5 years. Not re-do it, wipe it out. I feel that I am less of a good person for saying and meaning that:(

There is always some good in bad though and I try to focus on that but is quite hard when the nightmare and control keeps coming back leaving all things in an uncertain fog.

90% of family contact has been severed and my 2 sons have not seen their grandparents more that a couple times briefly in a year. They used to spend a lot of time with them. I made it very clear on a couple of occasions that they can see the boys even if we do not like each other.

I have said way more than I should have on an open post. I am not sure if it is freeing to vent or not at this point because even when I do vent I become shakey and fragmented.

We have put the property for sale but there are several issues that make things hard to do even that when communication is shakey at best with the other person on title. We just do not want to own land with them anymore.

There is alway some sort of drama to deal with in life, I accept that, but crave my long gone sense of security.

I will get through this, of that I am confident. Sure is difficult many days though.

Here is wishing "luck" and sending hugs to all with overwhelming problems. I know there are people who have a much harder life than I.

chicken crack wrote:Here is wishing "luck" and sending hugs to all with overwhelming problems. I know there are people who have a much harder life than I.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, it's nice to not feel alone *HUGS* Like us, you'll get through all this.

I wanted to say, your last statement is something I commented on recently with a friend who said the same thing. I believe that may be true, but sometimes your life is as hard as your life has ever been, and you are allowed to claim that. We might look at someone who "has it worse" and the entire time they look at us with the same thoughts, because their 'worse' isn't their 'worst.'

Sweetened....I really hate to comment on this, but if I was you and your husband, I would NOT borrow from

your lender friend either. Just little things show up to me as red flags. I'm afraid you are walking from

one disaster to another and are going to lose a friend over it. Sometimes when you have to fight that hard

for something, it's trying to tell you --r-u-n- for it.

We have gone through some pretty awful things in the last 10 yrs. Don't Ever want to go through any of it again.

I really would give this some thought, I'd hate to see you go from bad to worse.

I do send you hugs. Hopefully all will go well. You may find a much better place, and not have all that

negative energy around you.