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World economy explained with 2 cows

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1World economy explained with 2 cows Empty World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:14 pm

coopslave

coopslave
Golden Member
Golden Member

World economy explained with 2 cows


COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



BUREAUCRACY

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.



TRADITIONAL FREE MARKET

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF lends you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.

2World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:40 pm

HigginsRAT


Golden Member
Golden Member

.



Last edited by HigginsRAT on Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:44 am; edited 1 time in total

http://www.wolven.ca/higgins/ratranch/

3World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:48 pm

coopslave

coopslave
Golden Member
Golden Member

Nice!

What about:

CANADA

You have 2 cows.

You can't feed it stuff you grow unless inspected by the government.
You can't use the milk unless inspected by the government.
You can't use the meat unless inspected by the government.
You can't dispose of the manure unless inspected by the government.


Very Happy

4World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:52 pm

HigginsRAT


Golden Member
Golden Member

,



Last edited by HigginsRAT on Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:44 am; edited 1 time in total

http://www.wolven.ca/higgins/ratranch/

5World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:17 pm

coopslave

coopslave
Golden Member
Golden Member

Tara it appears nobody appreciates our humour but us! Laughing I enjoyed it anyways. Very Happy

6World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:26 pm

HigginsRAT


Golden Member
Golden Member

.



Last edited by HigginsRAT on Fri Nov 02, 2012 1:44 am; edited 1 time in total

http://www.wolven.ca/higgins/ratranch/

7World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:31 pm

HiddenAcresBC

HiddenAcresBC
Active Member
Active Member

HAHA Im enjoying your humour! I happen to have a cow whose beautiful milk I am not supposed to enjoy or share (and who costs me much more than my farm will ever make) so I cant help but laugh out loud at the humour cheers

Jaclyn

8World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:28 am

CynthiaM

CynthiaM
Golden Member
Golden Member

Oh gads, Tara, you never cease to make me smile. You are right, I stay away from the joke forum, but I do not HATE it, just find most jokes well, rather boring, just like I did this one Shocked (oops, did I say that, my inner voice, hee, hee). I thought the joke was ingenious that amount of thought that must have gone into it to create such a weird thing, but it had such merit. So, yes, Cindi with the M for menace, responded to ya, just how you wanted me to do, smiling. Good write up about the Canadian aspect to cows, Tara and Coopslave. Now let me get on with my day tongue and wishing a great day for us all too, whilst I am at it, CynthiaM.

9World economy explained with 2 cows Empty Re: World economy explained with 2 cows Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:10 pm

happychicks

happychicks
Addicted Member
Addicted Member

coopslave wrote:Nice!

What about:

CANADA

You have 2 cows.

You can't feed it stuff you grow unless inspected by the government.
You can't use the milk unless inspected by the government.
You can't use the meat unless inspected by the government.
You can't dispose of the manure unless inspected by the government.


Very Happy

Yeah, you got it right there!

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