She's gone. Packed and moved out. I am exhausted. My house looks like a crime scene. IT needs the cleaning of a lifetime, and I just don't have the energy right now.
SPent the last 2 weeks hauling garbage, cleaning, insulating the skirting, wrapping heat tapes, painting, painting, painting. I was there for 10 days straight getting the ancient mobile in order. What I Have to show for it is a red, itchy load of painful swelled flea bites around my ankles and knees. She wanted a dog when she moved out. Well, turns out the park rules won't allow dogs, but having a mobile full of fleas is the next best thing! I hung a No Pest strip in the living room.
Today her muscle bound, Neanderthal friend and cigar smoking boyfriend 'helped' with the moving. About an hour into this adventure it became obvious that they were all hopeless idiots. First sign was when HD and I were shaken by an incredible crash and wobbling mobile. Neanderthal had driven his truck into the mobile! The roads are slick and dangerous but he's got a big truck, he's got good tires, he's got shit for brains, and slid sideways KAPOW, broadsides the mobile! There was nothing to do but put her in drive and go forward, crushing the siding as he went. There was damage to his rear fender and parts of his bumper were imbedded in the siding! Perfect.
Then boyfriend started his tossing and dropping method of furniture unloading. He had already broken the legs off the coffee table by ramming it into the pick-up box without lifting the legs clear of the tailgate, snap! He then decided that he was strong enough to lift heavy items alone, which he was not, and thus dropped the heavy items. ANd all this is happening on glare ice and he's wearing cowboy boots, cause that's just how his rogue self rolls. He's slipping and sliding and falling over. The mattress was dropped on deck and skidded along the filthy, splintery wood, snagging the material.
About this time HUb, who does not speak up, crawled under the mobile to install an overflow line because he was tired of moving most of the furniture himself while Dumb and Dumber smoked cigars, texted and inspected fender damage. Horse Daughter had withdrawn into a stupor of useless immobility and was sitting on the sofa, staring into space, mumbling, "I am going to kill him." I'm not sure who him was, but I have a pretty good idea.
The two nitwits left to gather another load and I busied myself unpacking and organizing, HD started getting things organized, but the guys were gone for a very long time. Get back with that 2nd load already. THey finally show up, turns out they went touring to inspect a car that was for sale and had made a booze stop. This is where I came unhinged! When boyfriend swaggered in with two big bottles of coke and a bottle of Jack Daniels, I let him know EXACTLY what I was thinking. IT went like this, word for word, "Let me get this straight, you moron. There is no milk, no bread, no meat in this house. BUt you have time and money to pick up a bottle of booze? I am here to tell you that your life is very close to being over. One call and poof, you're gone. GONE! FOREVER! A$$HOLE!" He blinked his eyes and attempted to speak but I stuck a finger in his face and said, " Shut up, step away and stop breathing!"
When we left the place was in utter turmoil, the bad driver had gone home and the other two were sitting on the sofa, surrounded by mayhem. As I drove off I remembered with a start that I had left the No PEst strip hanging. I meant to take it down. It can affect brain cells. Then I thought, relax Uno, between those three there wasn't a functioning brain cell in the room. No brain cells were harmed in the making of this life event...none were used, either.
I am beat. And sad. And mortified. And worried. And too tired to be worried. And covered in flea bites. I am going to bed now to cry.
SPent the last 2 weeks hauling garbage, cleaning, insulating the skirting, wrapping heat tapes, painting, painting, painting. I was there for 10 days straight getting the ancient mobile in order. What I Have to show for it is a red, itchy load of painful swelled flea bites around my ankles and knees. She wanted a dog when she moved out. Well, turns out the park rules won't allow dogs, but having a mobile full of fleas is the next best thing! I hung a No Pest strip in the living room.
Today her muscle bound, Neanderthal friend and cigar smoking boyfriend 'helped' with the moving. About an hour into this adventure it became obvious that they were all hopeless idiots. First sign was when HD and I were shaken by an incredible crash and wobbling mobile. Neanderthal had driven his truck into the mobile! The roads are slick and dangerous but he's got a big truck, he's got good tires, he's got shit for brains, and slid sideways KAPOW, broadsides the mobile! There was nothing to do but put her in drive and go forward, crushing the siding as he went. There was damage to his rear fender and parts of his bumper were imbedded in the siding! Perfect.
Then boyfriend started his tossing and dropping method of furniture unloading. He had already broken the legs off the coffee table by ramming it into the pick-up box without lifting the legs clear of the tailgate, snap! He then decided that he was strong enough to lift heavy items alone, which he was not, and thus dropped the heavy items. ANd all this is happening on glare ice and he's wearing cowboy boots, cause that's just how his rogue self rolls. He's slipping and sliding and falling over. The mattress was dropped on deck and skidded along the filthy, splintery wood, snagging the material.
About this time HUb, who does not speak up, crawled under the mobile to install an overflow line because he was tired of moving most of the furniture himself while Dumb and Dumber smoked cigars, texted and inspected fender damage. Horse Daughter had withdrawn into a stupor of useless immobility and was sitting on the sofa, staring into space, mumbling, "I am going to kill him." I'm not sure who him was, but I have a pretty good idea.
The two nitwits left to gather another load and I busied myself unpacking and organizing, HD started getting things organized, but the guys were gone for a very long time. Get back with that 2nd load already. THey finally show up, turns out they went touring to inspect a car that was for sale and had made a booze stop. This is where I came unhinged! When boyfriend swaggered in with two big bottles of coke and a bottle of Jack Daniels, I let him know EXACTLY what I was thinking. IT went like this, word for word, "Let me get this straight, you moron. There is no milk, no bread, no meat in this house. BUt you have time and money to pick up a bottle of booze? I am here to tell you that your life is very close to being over. One call and poof, you're gone. GONE! FOREVER! A$$HOLE!" He blinked his eyes and attempted to speak but I stuck a finger in his face and said, " Shut up, step away and stop breathing!"
When we left the place was in utter turmoil, the bad driver had gone home and the other two were sitting on the sofa, surrounded by mayhem. As I drove off I remembered with a start that I had left the No PEst strip hanging. I meant to take it down. It can affect brain cells. Then I thought, relax Uno, between those three there wasn't a functioning brain cell in the room. No brain cells were harmed in the making of this life event...none were used, either.
I am beat. And sad. And mortified. And worried. And too tired to be worried. And covered in flea bites. I am going to bed now to cry.
good for ya! 
But I swear to all of you here, who have so graciously allowed me to whine, that I will try my very best to bite my tongue, keep it to myself, and wave good bye from the dock as boyfriend achieves splashdown.
