Life philosophy

This is not the correct place to ask such a question. But there are people on this site whose mental processes impress me, and if I were able to meet many of you face to face I would love to spend an afternoon chatting with you about various topics.

I am seeking personal opinions formed from real life experience. Do not share more than you are comfortable with, but do share what you are able.

I am thinking about change. Most people resist and avoid it. Fear it. But has change come to your life in some unforseen way? Maybe a health crisis, a family/marital crisis, an employment crisis? And even though you might have entered the situation unwillingly and resentfully, when you look back, was the outcome good or bad? Did the change kill you, improve you, set you back or move you ahead?

Has anyone here, with deliberate clarity, done something utterly rash and extreme? Like quit corporate Toronto and move to backwater ButtFuzz to build a sweat lodge and earn a subsistence living making gourd bird houses? Was it a good move? A stupid move?

Has anyone here, in a comfortable and sane life, thought about doing something rash, but then decided against it, decided to just stay put..and do you regret that road not taken, or are you at peace with how your life is unfolding? Do you sleep well at night, ready to meet your end as you feel your hand has been well played...or is there a burning in the gut that says 'act now before it's too late'.

In my life, I try to make people smile, laugh. I often say things that others only think. I am not afraid to look stupid because hey, it is what it is. Sometimes I succeed at being funny. Well there is nothing funny now and nothing lighthearted about this question. I do want to hear the personal experiences that have brought the posters to their conclusions. So I ask that you please answer with deliberate thought if you choose to reply to this post. Thank you.

Would quitting a great paying job and selling everything to move to a 3rd world country (Belize) to open an eco-friendly guest house be what you mean?
If yes, then been there done that.
When that fell through I ended up on private yachts working at various jobs. It is very freeing being able to carry all your possessions on your shoulders.
Fortunately for me I seem to have a bit of a golden horseshoe stuck you know where, and tend to end up on my feet. There were a few times when I wasn't sure where a meal was coming from, or where I would be sleeping. It always worked out. Most people are welcoming and generous. Thankfully!
Now I am a mom, there is no way I could do it. Once the boy is old enough and set up enough to take care of himself, we, the hubby and I, have talked of selling everything and buying a nice sailboat.... He's a wandering soul too.
Can't say I regret the time I've spent travelling. As for doing things differently, can't see it.

Uno, you are going deep here for me lots of emotions and no regets.
Some 8 years ago I sadden to find out that I had stage 3 breast cancer and a less than 40 percent of survial, just 15 days after losing my sister to the same awful thing. I had walked her though her struggle and had not yet grieved her loss. My husband and I were floored and the sad part was it was missed through human error as I had been doing my part with testing.

I think during that year and ahalf of surgery, chemo and radation I did all the things that I thought I wanted to at some point, sometimes to the point of even me thinking what am doing out here in the baking sun, no hair and sick as a dog learning how to golf, or buying a very fine steed(horse) so I could ride and feel the wind in my face like I did though to my 20's. My husband and I travelled when I was well enough and saw lots of places I probably would not have seen.

On my 5 year anniversity I was diagonsed with Thyroid Cancer, so had to start my count over again but you know what through it all I think I grew as a person and definitley learned some life lessons about what is important in life and that is My husband, my family and friends. Money and things while important are far down the list.

I take each day one at a time and no matter how crappy or stressful my day is every evening I try to focus on one thing that brighten my day it could as simple as a pretty flower or bird in the yard or something the dog or cat did or perhaps something bigger but the point is it only takes little things to make one happy. On my second round of Cancer we decieded to up and move to B.C, someplace warmer, much to the surprise of family and friends, who I think thought we were crazy. But I decieded to go on faith as I knew it was something my husband wanted to do on retirement but if you wait and wait your time may run out, so off we went. As I look back now, taking a chance and getting out of my comfort zone was so so right as I am joined at the hip to the one I love and we are hoping that the powers that be afford us many years together in a home we love ready to take on what life hands us along with the little set backs and seeking ways to yet enjoy our surroundings and looking for that next adventure around the corner.

So my life and that of my hubby have changed, no longer so uptight, materialisic and willing to step a little more out of our zone, but the one and most important thing that I have learned is to be kind to your fellow man and help where you can as some day you may need some kindness. Most of all I have learned how to forgive, and not be angry for human mistakes. I had to learn that to move on and concentrate on getting well from my breast cancer. Just my take and hope this falls into the type of replies you were looking for.

Heather

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Oh Uno, you are a marvelous woman, did I ever mention I think you are marvelous, smiling that big smile. You have began a thread that will no doubt, bring tears to others' eyes, the authors with not that intent, just a life story. I have a life story, but as you know I am very convoluted with what I say. I have no problem to tell about a very drastic and permanent life change in my life, all good, and hey, if I and mine can do it so you can you. It will take time to compose my post, as it will be a long-un, so not today my dear, but in those wee early morning hours, I will take keyboard to hand and make a biggy, smiling. thank you Uno, I think this thread is going to help you make some very radical life decisions, and you may feel yours is not as radical as you are making yourself to believe. Don't know what your thingy is here, but it must be a big one. Beautiful days, CynthiaM.

CYnthiaM, you know I think you a wise and compassionate woman. I am SO GLAD that I took the chance of getting to know you and FarmChiq and feel richer for having the two of you in my life in whatever capacity works for us.

I know anything you post will be honest, well thought out and given in the spirit of help and hope. So I look forward to whatever you have to say. Take your time.

In my early 20's, I bought a house on my own. Nice little rancher on a dead end street. In 94, I was in an accident on the highway in my truck while working and ended up in therapy for 8 months.
I had plenty of time to evaluate my life.

I decided to sell everything and move to the mainland. Well, I never made it to the mainland, but still sold everything and moved to Victoria instead.

It was a quick decision. I had a job laid out in Maple Ridge, and weeks before I was to move, I decided for some unknown reason on Victoria instead.
With no job, and no idea why, off I went.

Here I am now. Its been a fun ride, and I wouldn't change a thing.
Life should be fun and exciting. Jumping into the unknown isn't easy for some, but what is life if everything is planned out?

.I don't think there is a right answer , a right move. a right decision. You make the best choice you can at the time and let life unfold. My husband , best friend and father of my children died at age 42. I was 39 at the time with a ten and twelve year old. I moved back to be with family on Vancouver Island from Winnipeg. I wasn't afraid of anything at the time( I figured nothing could top what I had been through on the gruesome scale)so I bought a used house barged it over and started again. I met Will about 6 years later. Someone said to me during my grieving that "every problem has a gift in its hand" Will was one of the gifts( there have been so many) that came from Randy's death. We have four kids between us and they all love each other( a small miracle) 10 years ago( Will and I were 49 and 50) we sold both of our homes and bought a run down farm. Friends that already owned property said don't do it. I quit my hairdressing to be an artist.. I can't tell you how many tears I have shed over that decision. The renovations are still not done. The job list is still endless., How many times I wish we had never done it mostly because It takes so much of our time and money and I let everything get in the way of my painting. Then I go to Victoria or Vancouver. I watch how other people live in the city. I can hardly wait to get back home. I love my chickens. I love my Art studio. I love that my kids love to be here. I love giving them fresh eggs. I love being surrounded by nature. I love having a line up of people at the farmers market waiting for one of "Will's Wicked Cinnamon buns." I and My 7 year old grand daughter walked through the woods out onto a field of grass yesterday at dusk.The fields of perenial grass are so beautiful at that time of day. Her mouth dropped open and she said."don't you mow this?" She took off at a run with the dogs into the field twirling around waving her arms to feel the soft fronds. She shouted back at me. Please don't ever cut this! Its moments like this that make me realize that I probably wouldn't change anything except maybe....... what I choose to think about. thanks uno for the opportunity to remember what is important.

Reneggaide, HA HA HA you kill me! a tuch2much! Man, that should be a bumper sticker on my truck. Or perhaps tattooed on my forehead. If ever something summed it up perfectly, that line is it!

I chuckle because, like you, I bare my soul and then realize yikes, I'm standing here, all alone, bare. And then I delete too, hoping to Hades that no one bothered to read my drivel and drek. I so understand that delete move after I read my own posts and cringe. But before you edited, I read. And I appreciated your words. I value and applaud the bravery it takes to be that bare. To say, yup, I have been less than perfect. Because Reneggaide, that would be all of us here in our own way. SOme of us in a sensational way, some of us in an insidious way, some of us in a painfully stupid way. I take my hat off to you, for sharing. And do not begrudge you the take-back. Not one bit. Thank you.

Vic's Chicks...Wow. I am floored by your post. By the pain and then bravery and then endless renos (seems they are always endless!) and then (and this is the best part) the moments when perspective and distance focus you sharply and honestly on what matters. And what matters is what you already have! Your post was like a prayer. Wisdom and truth are like small rolling waves that lick onto the shore, tickle your toes then sink into the sand. Small, quiet, but backed by awesome power, an ocean of truth.

I look forward to what everyone has to say. I read each of your posts with intense focus. Sometimes (okay MOST times) I think I have all the answers. But I know I don't. To pass over any offered wisdom would just be stupid. I learn from you all.

Philosophies are based on your beliefs, and/or your life experiences, so I think I should elaborate on my previous post.

I find it easy to let go of the things I have attained for many reasons, and jump into the unknown. My wife is the opposite. She needs structure, and plans to follow.
Me, not so much.

I do not believe in fate. I do not believe in things happening for a reason. Random things happen to random people at random times. This falls under the shit happens category more often than not, and many people, like my wife, need to have a reason for something happening. So they say it happens for a reason, and then look for that reason.
Perhaps I'm a simpleton and look at it as Shit Happens, deal with it, learn from it and move on. But right or wrong, this is how I see it. My perception. It has kept me smiling on many a bad event while others seem to struggle searching for a reason.

We have the abilities to deal with any situation, at any given time, and come out just fine. It's our perception of events that dictate how we handle them.

So I will divulge a little more of one of my story's, and take from it what you will.

My selling everything, packing up and moving was the culmination of a few events.
Fortunately, I came to my conclusions on how I wanted to live my life much earlier than most. Keep in mind I was 25 when I left everything behind.

The accident was the beginning of it....

It should have been a head on collision on the highway, and driving a snub-nosed delivery truck, had I not got the front end out of the way, I may not have fared so well.

As I mentioned, I was off for 8 months with various injuries.
It was then a fight with WCB. It took them 4 months to even recognize my claim.
In these short 4 months, running my business, and having to pay someone else to do it, and no income from WCB, my bank account went dry pretty damn quick.
I had the bank looking for mortgage payments, my business loans, fuel bills, etc. etc.
Hydro cut me off. I'm just glad it was summer. My meals were cooked on the BBQ.
I ate cereal for a week straight for breakfast lunch and dinner.
It got to a point, where I sat down with my cats, and split a can of refried beans with them and myself, because that was all that was left in the cupboard for me and them.
Cats dont like refried beans, I'll tell you that much.

This was the beginning of my decision. In a split second, my once comfortable life had changed drastically.

What if I wasn't able to return to work? All I had worked for would be pointless.
My plans had been put to rest by a single, split second event.

Now, to me, this was, and still is, no big deal to me. There are millions in the world far worse off than I ever was. I had a roof over my head, not to mention a full can of refried beans, thanks to the finicky cats.
So I figure, any day you don't wake up dead is a good day. You got a pulse? Hell, do you have any idea how many people out there don't?

Life is an adventure. Never be afraid to try something new. Things may get tough, things may go wrong. But it's how we look at the obstacles that's important. They're just speed bumps in the road of life. Take em slow, and they don't seem so bad do they?

To me, everything does not have a reason, but there is something good to be had out of any bad situation, sometimes you just have to dig deep to find it.
Sometimes, much deeper.

HillBilly, you have inspired me to write. I have been thinking about it for a while now and couldn't bring myself to put it into words. You being a 'shit happens' kinda person has made me think how much of a 'there is a reason' for it kinda girl I am.

We moved to Australia in 1999. Leaving all my family and friend behind and not even having a job to go to. Just up and left. You all will be thinking that is the life change I will talk about, but that was easy. Found work pretty quick, eventually got my citizenship. Australia was very good to us and we prospered (as much as ranch managers can ). I loved it there and considered it my home.

Late in 2009 hubby (who is a Kiwi) started grumbling about going back to Canada. I said "NO". I was happy. He grumbled more and complained about his job and other stuff but could not give me a good reason why. Early in 2010 he found this job. I played along for a bit and we applied for it. I never expected it to go further. Well, we were offered in and I dug my heels in. I just did not want to come back. I loved everything about Australia. LOTS of fights and crying and saying I would not come. I even had thoughts of not coming with him because he was coming. He just kept saying 'you'll come' which of course drove me crazy! When I asked him why he wanted to go back to Canada so badly, he would just tell me it was a feeling he had. He would put his fist to his stomach and say 'in here'. That is all I could get from him. No other reasons. I could give him hundreds of reasons why we should stay in Aus and all I got from him was the same answer.

Well, as you all know, I came with him. Kicking and screaming and grumbling. Me and 7 dogs made the trip back after selling everything.......again. Well, Dad ended up passing in June 2011, Mom got lung cancer and I had to look after her for a few months, my brother in law passed in November 2011 and my sister a few days later. I guess his gut was right, because if I was all the way on the other side of the world this would have been a lot tougher than it already is.

So I understand the 'shit happens' philosophy, but I happen to believe that I needed to be in Canada and that is why I was given no choice. Toughest thing I have ever done is leaving there. Still miss it all the time, but I am glad I was here for all the things that have gone down.

Just lost our old dog. Best working dog we have ever had but just a great dog too. Truly amazing and hubby would not have been able to do the jobs he has without him. He passed on the same day as my dad, exactly 12 months later. So I hope my year of trials is over and I can stop building character and stop feeling this way and get on with my life.

Uno, I hope you find the answers you are looking for. I think I have gotten to know you all a little better by reading your stories. Thanks so much for sharing them.

Another good read coop. This is a very deep thread, and I think we will all take a lot from it.
I must point out though, that is not quite what I mean about my shit happens philosophy. I mean actual events. Like stepping on a rock. An accident. A tree falling. Etc etc. Not something we have a choice and make a decision about. Something completely outside our control that effects us. (Though your story could fall into that category, but I think you understand where I was going now).
I too have had urges to do things. Call it a sixth sense for lack of a better term, and I completely know what you mean.