I hate those people. You know them. You tell them you have a headache and oh, well, you think that's bad they have a brain tumour! Or if you have a painful hang nail, you think that's bad, they have gangrene! Or if you're tired they haven't slept in at least 3 months.
I want to SLUG those people in the nose. It's one upmanship of the most obnoxious type. No one in their presence is allowed to feel bad or have a problem because they have cornered the market on catastrophic life moments and everything that happens to them, everything, is so much more critical and massive than what happens to you and your trivial little complaints. How dare you whine or remark about something in their presence, you don't know what true suffering is. They suffer truly and horribly and carry on like saints, god bless them, thus you should just tuck your tail between your legs and go home.
Sweetened said something a while back that has stuck with me. I am paraphrasing, but she basically said that suffering is suffering and having someone come along and tell you that they have suffered more, does not remove your own suffering. It just adds one more level of feeling bad and self condemnation to your suffering. Rude! It's the psychological equivalent of kicking a man when he's down. Oh goody, this guy's having a tough time, let me run in and finish him off with a swift quick to the sympathy centre.
I have a friend whose life is normally in a fair amount of ghastly turmoil. When she manages to get me on the phone, I do what I can to listen and be supportive and make appropriate noises and remarks at the right time to communicate to her that I am there, listening, paying attention, and seeking clarification if I don't understand. But when I talk to her....silence. There is this numbing, chilling wall of silence. Not a sound, not an 'oh dear', or 'mmmhmmm', or 'oh my Gordon!". Nope. Nothing. Just the freeze until I say, hello?, thinking we have lost our phone connection. When I say hello, she takes that as her signal to start talking about her problems again without so much as one syllable suggesting she has heard or cared about a damn thing I said. The cumulative effect this hideous phone behaviour creates is that I don't want to talk to her on the phone anymore. She's selfish, rude and it's unforgiveable in someone over the age of 13.
So, whether your current misery is big or small on the scale of things, I am sorry you find yourself in it, don't doubt that it is miserable for you and I hope you find your way out soon. To hell with anyone who tells you you have no right to whine. Punch those people!
I want to SLUG those people in the nose. It's one upmanship of the most obnoxious type. No one in their presence is allowed to feel bad or have a problem because they have cornered the market on catastrophic life moments and everything that happens to them, everything, is so much more critical and massive than what happens to you and your trivial little complaints. How dare you whine or remark about something in their presence, you don't know what true suffering is. They suffer truly and horribly and carry on like saints, god bless them, thus you should just tuck your tail between your legs and go home.
Sweetened said something a while back that has stuck with me. I am paraphrasing, but she basically said that suffering is suffering and having someone come along and tell you that they have suffered more, does not remove your own suffering. It just adds one more level of feeling bad and self condemnation to your suffering. Rude! It's the psychological equivalent of kicking a man when he's down. Oh goody, this guy's having a tough time, let me run in and finish him off with a swift quick to the sympathy centre.
I have a friend whose life is normally in a fair amount of ghastly turmoil. When she manages to get me on the phone, I do what I can to listen and be supportive and make appropriate noises and remarks at the right time to communicate to her that I am there, listening, paying attention, and seeking clarification if I don't understand. But when I talk to her....silence. There is this numbing, chilling wall of silence. Not a sound, not an 'oh dear', or 'mmmhmmm', or 'oh my Gordon!". Nope. Nothing. Just the freeze until I say, hello?, thinking we have lost our phone connection. When I say hello, she takes that as her signal to start talking about her problems again without so much as one syllable suggesting she has heard or cared about a damn thing I said. The cumulative effect this hideous phone behaviour creates is that I don't want to talk to her on the phone anymore. She's selfish, rude and it's unforgiveable in someone over the age of 13.
So, whether your current misery is big or small on the scale of things, I am sorry you find yourself in it, don't doubt that it is miserable for you and I hope you find your way out soon. To hell with anyone who tells you you have no right to whine. Punch those people!
. So I tell him to get in the car so I can drive him to the hospital, he says he isn't going to the hospital and seemed just fine a few minutes later. If I hurt myself in anyway all I get from him is "now you know how I feel". I guess it's his lack of empathy towards me that really gets my goat..... Oh my sorry about that rant..hahaha
