BBQ rules.... how it works.

BBQ RULES:

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
( THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Yes, yes and again I say yes!

Our 'husband is making dinner tonight' farce is punctuated by the hazardous event of having close call house fires.

For unknown reasons, mice are determined to nest in our BBQ. Lighting the BBQ always sets mice on fire. They scurry, pell mell, flaming, across the deck and behind the cedar siding on the house! Shouts of "HOLY FIT! A burning mouse just ran behind the siding, get the hose!"

We now check every square inch of potential mouse hiding space before lighting anything. My thrill for BBQ, both for things mouse flavoured and the fact that I still do all the work while caveman applies heat to meat, has seriously declined over the years.

Oh boy, do I ever agree with you Articsun. Those definately are "the" BBQ Rules alright!

But I love the way you explain it. lol

Not sure I'd want a burning mouse running into the siding, would have been interesting to see though.

My rules are slightly different. I do all of that, plus grill my own meat as hubby can't even do that. He will bring me a beer while I cook though. I love to grill, and quite frankly use it almost every day when it is not raining or -30.

I am like Bowker. My hubby has two grilling settings. Burnt and raw. I do all the above. But I love grilled anything!

That's it! I'm printing these rules out! Something is drastically wrong in my house because this is not even remotely CLOSE to how it is. I need to get wifey on this set of rules pronto!

hahaha yes thats exactly right Arctic LOL My hubby helps prep the salad etc though (with precise detailed directions) and kids get put to work collecting up the sauces, utensils etc if I can get them to come in the house long enough for me to put them to work. Or I put hubby to work rounding up kids who make themselves scarce. We quite often get our daily amount of charcoal or the dinners where we eat our sides while we wait for the meat which must meet the grill for a second try LOL Who cares BBQing is fantastic