Pep talk me (sorry very long post)

I have been kind of discouraged this winter.. confused, feeling overwhelmed by my flock.

I have tried two times to restart silkie breed lines. I had been absent from chickens for 8 years because of conditions and my spine diseases. in semi remission now for three years, And rebuilding a world of chickens I thought I'd never see again.

My first silkie order 2013 came with a hatchery order a bantam assorted package.( 5 silkies in pkg)

I have had in past a USA hatchery order and every single silkie from that order were healthy and perfect, seriously.

So I assumed the five silkies in my Alberta hatchery package would be similar. Wrong!!
I got weak legs, crooked leg and one that appeared to have a heart attack in first winter( when posting.. She was white meat white skin and more fat in her insides then our dual purpose birds we butchered ., she would have been a good little roaster. ( sorry if this offends any one.) So after all that I had two roosters of the silkies left to play with... kept one back got rid of the other.

Then last year I get eggs from a silkie breeder, well I never noticed at hatch.. later as they aging the combs rise up, every color variety has single combs.(I got five color varieties)I got regular walnut combs in a few but no mate to go with the color.
I got to say not once did I expect show quality hatching off these eggs, because I have had 20 years experience getting better plumage on them in the past. But to be hit by single combs now, was really a smack me down( I have no genetic understanding how this happens or how and if I can fix it with what I have.) I never seen this!! single combs.

I have tried to locate my old silkie lines and there is no road to them.

Okay now.... Back to 2013.... the other chicks in my first hatchery package were all very nice, strong, one breed in the package I was familiar with, that be the cochins bantams( I had partridge and black come in the order)
The black line are beautiful but one by one the temperament with in those black roos made me down size them to only one roo who is no longer allowed out of his jail ..he thinks humans are giant worms!!!!.It hurts very badly! They were the meanest roosters I have ever seen.( I had black cochins in past and never had personal problems with them.. only rooster to rooster.
The partridge cochins from this package are so awesome, there is nothing bad I can say about them. great temperament in the roo great laying in the hens. And gorgeous to look at.

other breed from that package was barbu d'uccles , which I have hatched off of last year and am excited by them, but am sure I am not close to any barbu d'uccle standards, so it means still work.

And finally the little black tail buff Japanese in the package.. perfect little chickens that just run around cute I have no interest in furthering them, though they are Purdy and docile. But hens....they all sit on each other fighting to incubate my eating eggs lol piles of them on top of each other. It does crack me up though.

Why am I buying eggs now if I want Purdy birds? well because I have a healthy established flock(my preference) , and many troubles can be reduced by keeping a closed flock. I won't get into it in great detail, but an auction bird sentenced my whole flock to death way way way back, leaving me with only Provincial law ordered option to reboot and destroy it with gathering their eggs incubating .Or... never to sell another bird. And I lost years of breeding.it was seriously traumatic for me... But I got on my feet again after that.(that's when the American hatchery chicks were added)
So hopefully this explains my egg need now, and not full grown birds buying.

I have no buyers for pairs, no one has wanted my pairs, every one wants a little pullet lol the morbidity of rooster culling especially gorgeous birds is getting to much for me.

I absolutely love breeding chickens, getting excited at what comes next, But I am feeling overwhelmed, I feel like I should give up on the silkies. And go to a breed I have now that are less likely to disappoint me because I know nothing about their standards yet lol.
The cochins and barbu d'uccles?
I've been collecting incubating eggs for weeks now, from various breeds I have paired, but I procrastinate.. where will these hatches go, I can't keep hatching and keeping them.

I attended this fall an auction and was surprised at all that has changed  now boxing.. no cardboard etc.... and thinking, how do people afford no cardboard boxes.? spend 20.00 on a box get 30.00 for a pair? seen many creative boxing like small laundry hampers etc... but still that's got to cost people.
I am not saying I don't get why? I sure do!...cardboard gets soggy rots etc. but yeesh.

Does any one have something they can say to me to pep me up?
My hubby keeps saying.. Just have fun with them, but it's difficult to have fun when you think you can't hatch out more because they won't sell to private buyers. Dang Chicken food has doubled since ten years ago to!

Maybe I have gone to soft in the fancy and shouldn't raise any more. Just feed watch them grow old n shut down.
I seriously don't know what direction I should go right now. getting all birds ready  paired for hatching eggs, have hatching eggs ready but I'm LOSSST!
Is there a prioritize list some where here on the site? ha ha ha!
I have thought about going cochin lol.. maybe find breeders with different colors hatch eggs n let my others go. Or barbu d'uccles varieties.
I am not very happy this Spring Help??
Thank you if you read all the way here**

I don't know much about chickens, but I think those barbu d'uccles are pretty neat you have.

They truly are a lovely bunch, unexpected but lovely, to my untrained barbu d'uccle eye.
I have been poking around and getting into reading a bit and see so many lovely color variations.. And I am a feather footed type chicken person to! thanks

Your Birds always look great and they are so well cared for The D'uccles are a Great Bird and alot of people are getting into them here in the Prairies
I was never a Feather foot Person so I have the D'Anvers instead
same Jaunty type but no Feather feet
Dont give up have fun with them hatch some more and I am sure you can sell they
Auctions are not the only way
Head up and do like Huppy says enjoy them
Joe

appway wrote:Your Birds always look great and they are so well cared for The D'uccles are a Great Bird and alot of people are getting into them here in the Prairies  
I was never a Feather foot Person so I have the D'Anvers instead
same Jaunty type but no Feather feet
Dont give up have fun with them hatch some more and I am sure you can sell they
Auctions are not the only way
Head up and do like Huppy says enjoy them
Joe

I hear so many love clean footed birds(no feathers) but my very first chickens I ever got when I was brand new on my own in country were a silkie cross those little paddles on those feet were so adorable really!!I always wanted chickens but the first time I saw a paddled foot running I laughed so hard. I can understand why people love the clean legs n feet. If conditions turn into sticky wet you get little poop balls to clean off. More so then with clean legs/ feet..
It really does spark me with the barbu d'uccles, And Yes Joe I did see the D'anvers and thought it is kind of cool two birds that come with or with out those paddles, everybody's happy then lol.
starting to feel better already.

Maybe a little inspiration to go off is what I need. good old pat on the back. ha ha!
Thank you

I like feathered feet - chickens crack me up when they run, but the ones with feathered feet are just ridonculous - they always make me smile.

Your barbu's are pretty neat.  I don't know anything about how they should look, but they are indeed pretty.  The one looks like a drum major in a parade.  

HaHa Bessie.. you are right a drum major... so funny!! LOL

Oh sigh, I don't know who you are, but it sounds like some others do, smiling that big smile...and I got an impression that you come from a different country than Canada too. Nice you are here, by the way. I am also happy to hear that you are doing well with some kind of trauma that has inflicted your body. That is good. I cannot say too much to you, other than, there is always another day. The sun will always shine again. It sounds like you have been to blazes and back with illness in the flock that took everything down, that is sad, the one bird being the culprit for flock devastation. For this I feel for you. I can't imagine what that would be to have all my birds downed. I am a breeder of buff orpington and cochins, in blue, black and splash, large fowl. I love the feathered foot and the non-feathered foot. I love the little cochins as they are growing, they always remind me of a bunch of little kids running around with big wide blue jeans. These two breeds are my choice, loving, roosters with beautiful temperament, big fluffy bottoms and the two breeds love to mother, and are good layers, nice table fowl, which dress out to about 5 pounds per male after eviscerating, several years of working hard on selection with nice genetics has given me this. I am pleased with my work. As you, it sounds like one time, were pleased with your work. I would never give. As they say, never say never. With your health improved, you have time, you have more energy I am sure, and yes, also do as Hubby says, enjoy the fancy. Take things slowly, figure out exactly what you want to do, and you will get there. Baby step by baby step and some big adult steps too. I can't really say too much encouraging to you, because I just don't have too much to say, other than, do keep that chin up. You clearly have a desire to work on bettering the Silkie breed, never give up, and go forward, bit by bit. And with that, do have a beautiful day, CynthiaM

Thank you CynthiaM I do need one of these breeds to get me picked up again, one of the reasons I loved silkies and walnut combs was because they never frosted them. They were superb in colder coops. Like I used to have. But my new farm , the new barn is way warmer even with out heating -20c outside and it's still 0c in the barn So that does open more options for some other cold intolerant breeds.. and there was no way I could keep even little Japanese in my coop at old place way back through winter, here that is not an issue these little barbu and Japanese are comfy

As for the losing of a flock it is devastating and no support groups( I didn't have internet back then either.) But had a few very awesome chicken loving friends that helped.
I love the big cochin's to but will hang on the little breed I think. But I do see the reason the big ones are good to. good dual purpose.. lol now you making me think again lolol. big or little cochins.. hubby would like the big ones and you are right the they tend to be a great all round bird.

Thank you again for your time posting to me here.