Wallowing in self pity.........

Why me, what have I done and then I just get pissed off. I am a crazy mess, more than usual.
I am losing my Mom. Took her to the hospital last night, she wouldn't come home with me. No fight left in her, she is done. Lovely day together, I was lucky to spend the whole day with her. She was giving stuff away. That bit wasn't much fun.
She has been declining quickly lately, but she is a tough old thing and we didn't realise it was as bad as it was. They say hind sight is 20/20.
Not an easy thing to lose 4 family members in less than 2 years. I don't wish it on anyone. Leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and a hollow bit in your soul.

So just letting you all know so when I am crazier than normal with my wild swings you can just brush me off and ignore me. I apologise in advance for any rudness, abruptness or anger I show. Kinda gives me a free pass now right?

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Oh Coopie, you are always forgiven for your foibles and quirks, because we love you. We well be extra understanding for the next few weeks. So sorry this is happening to you and your family.

Aww you beautiful lady. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know you always have an ear if you just want to vent and write. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So sorry to hear that. Were here for you!

Hello. Please take care of yourself. Take time to be with those you love. Give yourself permission to feel what you need to and surrond yourself with whatever gives you peace.

Searching for the right words and they dont exist. You have had a heavy burden lately and it looks like it's going to get worse. From what I've heard, your mom sounds like an amazing woman, having lived a good, solid life. YOu can be proud to be her daughter and she is very proud of you. I am grateful that you were able to take her to the hospital, that you are able to be with her. It might not feel like it now, but being there is the greatest gift to you. One day it will be what you hold as most valuable, when the time came, you were there, you'd been with her. Close.

Sorry that you are on this dark path. Put your face against a horse's neck and weep. They understand. They know just what to say.

coopslave, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It's not easy at all.

We lost 3 family members in 2002, all 2 months apart to the day. To be honest it threw us all so badly it took years to get over.

Please accept my condolances.

So sorry to hear about your mom, Coopslave. Anytime you feel the need to let it out, you know you are always welcomed to do so. We all need that from time to time.

So sorry to hear what you are going through Coopslave. If you believe in a higher power my prayers go out to you. Make sure you take care of yourself.

Sending hugs and prayers.

I am happy to line my booty up with Uno. It will probably eclipse hers, bt how often do you get a double moon?

Sorry to hear of what you are going through and have gone through in the recent past. Death is always hardest on those left behind. Not an easy thing but part of life. Sounds like your mom is at peace, I wish her God Speed.
YOU take care
Geri

I am so sorry Coopslave. I just buried my Grandmother yesterday. I wrote and read her eulogy. That was very difficult. I can't imagine how difficult things must be for you right now. Do what you need to to do to feel better. And make sure to lean on your friends. Whether you need to rant, cry, be stupidly silly whatever. It all helps.

Sooo sorry to hear you are having to go through this!!! Hugs/prayers and thoughts are with you!!

I wish I could think of something that might help. Very sorry.

I am very sorry to hear you are going through this. Just remember time helps with pain. It doesn't take it away but it makes it bearable. Sending loving thoughts your way. Lou

Coopslave, I am sorry to hear about your mom My dad passed away three weeks ago and it's hard.

To lose so many over ones in such a short time must be so painful.

I will be thinking of you often.

Thank you all very much.

One day at a time for now.

Joan,

My thoughts and well wishes are with you. Losing family is difficult and it can change your world at times.
Keep your chin above water, be there for you.

Our family experienced a series of losses very close together as well, it was hard to deal with them, still grieving the loss of one, and another one passes.
But in time, those sorrows pass, and the sadness does go, our day to day lives almost felt like they were at a stand still. But as each day went on, things got more cheerful, joy and happiness were abundant again in the lives of those still with us.

Loosing a loved one, is the most difficult thing to endure let alone a few loved ones. The only thing I can say is, make sure that you take care of you. Often when one is grieving, they tend to forget to "pick themselves up" or care for themselves. It's hard to be there to support others, when you aren't fully supporting one's self.

Time heals... just takes time.

Oh our dear girl. What can one say? What words can we try to express, our deep sadness for you. These are things that will never be OK. This passing of a soul will never be easy. We all know that pain, and it never ceases to be there, just lessens with time, to one day be a dull roar instead of that ripping roar. As others have said, do take care of yourself too. You have had a lot of pain over the past times with losing your family members, such sorrow. Condolences to you too Susan, and anyone else too. Keep that chin up, Coopslave, the only one that can look after you is you. I still wish that you can find something in this day to bring a smile, look to the dogs and the horses. CynthiaM.

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I am sure that if she needs help, there could be people close that could help out. I would in a heartbeat if I was closer, but she is about 2.5 hours from me, sigh. Keep the chin up Coopslave, and ask for help if you need it.

Thank you for thinking of me but all is fine. I enjoy the chores as they get me outside of myself a bit. Now if someone wants to come and clean my house, that would be a different story.

My husband may drive me crazy about many things but this he is very good at. I suppose he is getting lots of practise lately. Supportive for whatever I need to do, covering if I need to go and just big hugs without asking. All good stuff.

My sister is doing it tough and it is making it even more difficult. She was very close to Mom and has a terrible flu right now so can't go visit. She is an emotional wreck and needs to get better so she can get in there, but can't shake it. I am worried that she may not get so see Mom before she passes. That would not be good. I hope my instincts and gut are wrong and Mom is not as far along as I think she is, but I am not sure. It is difficult being strong for someone else when you don't really feel strong at all.

Thank you all for letting me verbalise here. I appreciate your kind words and thoughts. It is nice just to let it out sometimes. I am not always good at sharing my thoughts and feelings, but I has felt good to get some of it out and not pack it around.

Uno said it wonderfully.
Especially about the horse.
I hope your mom does not linger
or suffer.
Do take time for yourself just
to let it out and take some deep
breaths.

I'm so sorry to hear this - thinking of you and your family.