In all seriousness, never in all my years on various poultry sites have I read of anyone who has bothered to address this most pernicious threat to farmyard security.
We talk about ridding ourselves of parasites, both internal and external. We have before us a plethora of chemical weapons that our forefathers never dreamed of as they dipped their birds' feet in kerosene. We discuss now the pour-on versus powders. How to dose with mass antibiotics. We discuss how well to sanitize, or not, our barns and equipment. Miss CynthiaM is so hateful of Mareks' disease that she turns her back on the capital letter. marek's she calls it. Small M. Take that. That is true contempt if I ever saw it.
And yet not anyone, not in all these years, has mentioned a very real and terrible threat. Some of us probably have it now and don't know it. DOn't know it because no one will talk about it. It's all hush hush. Someone might look at you funny. Okay then. Look away. Because I am going to spill the beans. Bloody well time someone did.
Goblins. Goblins in the hen house. What have you done to prevent them? And I quote:
"Goblins are the marauding vagabonds of the Fairy Kingdom, roving alone or in mobs from town to town. They relish upsetting the sensibilities of man and fairy alike with their crass ways. Goblins love to eat eggs and delight in using them in pranks,and they are known to lodge in chicken coops in two ways: as willing tenants or as changelings." p.26
Now, if this doesn't set you back on your haunches, then you're just not paying attention. Not only can these roving bands of fey folk carry disease from town to town, but they can become a changeling in your hen house. If this doesn't keep you up at night, nothing will! Read on:
"Nothing spoils a carefully prepared breakfast like the cracking of a changeling egg. Whilst so many of these dangerous ovoids look and feel perfectly normal, they possess repulsive qualities seldom noticed until mealtime. Some are filled with maggots, others with blood. There are reports of changeling eggs as hard as concrete and others which explode when broken. A few have beautiful shells which hatch tuberculosis and smallpox.
The Ungerslud family of Shropshire was the unlucky recipient of a goblin curse via changeling eggs, for the morning after the eggs were eaten, the whole lot of them awoke with their legs on backwards, as they remain today." p.28
I see a picture. In past I have posted about a tragically high rate of blood spots in my eggs. Then I seem to have the worst luck fall upon my hen house, as if it has been singled out in the whole neighbourhood to be living in the worst zone of predator interference. Coincidence? HArdly! I am cursed! I am cursed! I HAVE GOBLINS!
Right now I am brewing a decoction, don't know if it will work. I might have to change the fey lines that run through the place, figure out how Stone Henge is situated in relation to my little, unlucky plot. There are ways, but no guarantees. I bet you never knew. Well now you can never claim ignorance, for you have been warned!
- Goblin Proofing One's Chicken Coop, and other practical advice in our campaign against the fairy kingdom. By Reginald Blakely.
This is Stephen King for chicken keepers!
We talk about ridding ourselves of parasites, both internal and external. We have before us a plethora of chemical weapons that our forefathers never dreamed of as they dipped their birds' feet in kerosene. We discuss now the pour-on versus powders. How to dose with mass antibiotics. We discuss how well to sanitize, or not, our barns and equipment. Miss CynthiaM is so hateful of Mareks' disease that she turns her back on the capital letter. marek's she calls it. Small M. Take that. That is true contempt if I ever saw it.
And yet not anyone, not in all these years, has mentioned a very real and terrible threat. Some of us probably have it now and don't know it. DOn't know it because no one will talk about it. It's all hush hush. Someone might look at you funny. Okay then. Look away. Because I am going to spill the beans. Bloody well time someone did.
Goblins. Goblins in the hen house. What have you done to prevent them? And I quote:
"Goblins are the marauding vagabonds of the Fairy Kingdom, roving alone or in mobs from town to town. They relish upsetting the sensibilities of man and fairy alike with their crass ways. Goblins love to eat eggs and delight in using them in pranks,and they are known to lodge in chicken coops in two ways: as willing tenants or as changelings." p.26
Now, if this doesn't set you back on your haunches, then you're just not paying attention. Not only can these roving bands of fey folk carry disease from town to town, but they can become a changeling in your hen house. If this doesn't keep you up at night, nothing will! Read on:
"Nothing spoils a carefully prepared breakfast like the cracking of a changeling egg. Whilst so many of these dangerous ovoids look and feel perfectly normal, they possess repulsive qualities seldom noticed until mealtime. Some are filled with maggots, others with blood. There are reports of changeling eggs as hard as concrete and others which explode when broken. A few have beautiful shells which hatch tuberculosis and smallpox.
The Ungerslud family of Shropshire was the unlucky recipient of a goblin curse via changeling eggs, for the morning after the eggs were eaten, the whole lot of them awoke with their legs on backwards, as they remain today." p.28
I see a picture. In past I have posted about a tragically high rate of blood spots in my eggs. Then I seem to have the worst luck fall upon my hen house, as if it has been singled out in the whole neighbourhood to be living in the worst zone of predator interference. Coincidence? HArdly! I am cursed! I am cursed! I HAVE GOBLINS!
Right now I am brewing a decoction, don't know if it will work. I might have to change the fey lines that run through the place, figure out how Stone Henge is situated in relation to my little, unlucky plot. There are ways, but no guarantees. I bet you never knew. Well now you can never claim ignorance, for you have been warned!
- Goblin Proofing One's Chicken Coop, and other practical advice in our campaign against the fairy kingdom. By Reginald Blakely.
This is Stephen King for chicken keepers!
