When your sick who helps you

Have to say Boxing day was not feeling good at all. Hot then cold, upset tummy and soar throat.
So Christmas day is a busy day and lots of work for a few days before it with baking.
Boxing day comes around and so was sick........no offer of help from anyone in the family at home, not even the DH. So out I was moving about 4 bales of hay, re bedding the goats section , milked 3 goats, fed and watered the chickens.

I fed everyone in the house.............

Went back outside at night to put them all the animals to bed. Fed the goats , sheep ,llama horse and collected eggs.

Came in still amazed that a man will act like he is dieing when he is sick and a woman carries on with everything she normaly does in a day.
Yes I could of asked for help.....but at that point I was in the barn whine ing to my animals.
So there you go my last whine of the year.
How does your DH help you when your sick.
Now I have to say I do love my DH very much as I know he puts up with a lot from me and all my hobbys.

Being DH that is away from home for 13 hours each day, and has endured years of wife with herniated disc, thus dealing with much more than my own share of work on any given day, much less a day when I was feeling under the weather, I'm not sure I need to answer this.

Hillbilly wrote: Being DH that is away from home for 13 hours each day, and has endured years of wife with herniated disc, thus dealing with much more than my own share of work on any given day, much less a day when I was feeling under the weather, I'm not sure I need to answer this.

I'm guessing you mind your the DH ??

March this year I fractured my sacrum have 2 bulging disks that seem to be on the mend at the moment, but sciatic nerve pain in both legs as well. I have been told not to do any thing that hurts lol I have not riden my horse in months and normaly I would have him at the stables and ride 5 days a week.

So yep I know what pain is like and still having to carry on with out the help I need. Tried paying my youngest son which worked for about a week. Physio said I would not be riding again screw that for a game of marbles. I love riding and hope to be back at riding by the end of Winter. But how knows for sure just hate being told I can't.
Mind I never ask for much help ever, I am the one that is always helping others it is the way it has always been.
Well should say Christmas eve DH was sick with what I had, but seemed to get over it in half the time. Boy he tock it easy maybe that is why his never lasted the same length of time. I had the same thing just 2 weeks ago as well.
Mind I guess it should be are you the farmer or the farmers wife lol me I would say I'm the farmer. Just need to find me a farmers hand lol

Lol, my wife was told to continue riding. Telling her not to would like being telling her not to breathe.
She rode as long as she could, (on oxycotin) A year ago last oct, she had a prosthetic disc inserted in place of what was left, virtually nothing, she was bone in bone at the time of surgery.
She was not allowed to ride again until April, 6 months post op, but april 2nd, she jumped in the saddle. Big surprise.
Its been a long, hard, many years for us both, but I will tell you, that when it comes time to step up to the plate, I can certainly say, without a doubt, I have.

Hillbilly wrote: Lol, my wife was told to continue riding. Telling her not to would like being telling her not to breathe.
She rode as long as she could, (on oxycotin) A year ago last oct, she had a prosthetic disc inserted in place of what was left, virtually nothing, she was bone in bone at the time of surgery.
She was not allowed to ride again until April, 6 months post op, but april 2nd, she jumped in the saddle. Big surprise.
Its been a long, hard, many years for us both, but I will tell you, that when it comes time to step up to the plate, I can certainly say, without a doubt, I have.

Well Hillbilly sounds like your wifes back was quite a mess and you DH have stepped up to the plate hands down.
I have been doing this drug free against my doctors orders. Riding hurt to much.
Thankfully things are healing.

My DH and I switch off. If I am sick he takes on my outside chores, if he is sick I take over his outside chores. It normally works well as both of us heal pretty fast from most things.

When I am sick there is no help. I still do my chores. Even when I had the stomach flu. Would go for a little while then stop for a few min. It was hard! Good thing I don't get sick very often.

I'm the same Lou. I just have to suck it up and sometimes things don't get attended to as quick as needed, but I make sure basics are always done. No cutting corners that way. It's not their fault I'm sick, so I still have to take care of basic needs. I just might not get out to the coop with the veggie scraps in a timely manner.

I'm not often too sick to do the chores, but my wife or DIL will help as needed with the chickens, turkeys and pigs. My wife's son or DIL feeds the cows occasionally including times when I'm sick. The Gkids help as well.

I've done the chores while sick before. Had to stop often and run outside a couple of times (my weak stomach didn't care for the manure air at the time).

The only time I didn't do it was when I got pneumonia a couple years ago. The teens stepped up that time. Did a great job of it.

Hillbilly wrote: Lol, my wife was told to continue riding. Telling her not to would like being telling her not to breathe.
She rode as long as she could, (on oxycotin) A year ago last oct, she had a prosthetic disc inserted in place of what was left, virtually nothing, she was bone in bone at the time of surgery.
She was not allowed to ride again until April, 6 months post op, but april 2nd, she jumped in the saddle. Big surprise.
Its been a long, hard, many years for us both, but I will tell you, that when it comes time to step up to the plate, I can certainly say, without a doubt, I have.

I've read about people with herniated discs riding Paso Fino's. Something special about their gait.

No one helps me. I could be half dead and if I am here I would still have to go out. However, I would not feed the man in that case. There I draw the line!

chickencrazygirl wrote:
Came in still amazed that a man will act like he is dieing when he is sick and a woman carries on with everything she normaly does in a day.

Hm..maybe you meant your husband instead and not men in general, but I find it a dumb thing to say no matter what..

Fowler wrote:

Hillbilly wrote: Lol, my wife was told to continue riding. Telling her not to would like being telling her not to breathe.
She rode as long as she could, (on oxycotin) A year ago last oct, she had a prosthetic disc inserted in place of what was left, virtually nothing, she was bone in bone at the time of surgery.
She was not allowed to ride again until April, 6 months post op, but april 2nd, she jumped in the saddle. Big surprise.
Its been a long, hard, many years for us both, but I will tell you, that when it comes time to step up to the plate, I can certainly say, without a doubt, I have.

I've read about people with herniated discs riding Paso Fino's. Something special about their gait.

Yes, their gait is something special. It does depend on your discipline whether its going to work for you or not though.

Piet wrote:

chickencrazygirl wrote:
Came in still amazed that a man will act like he is dieing when he is sick and a woman carries on with everything she normaly does in a day.

Hm..maybe you meant your husband instead and not men in general, but I find it a dumb thing to say no matter what..

I don't think it was a stupid thing to say at all. Whether she was generalizing (which I don't believe she was) or not, I can say I have seen this comment many-a-time from many different people (mostly women) concerning their spouse. People say such things in places such as this because when you're in the place she's in, you just want to know you're not the only one who can't get it through your spouses head that they don't help as much as they think they do. My ex put me in this mind set a lot, and I mean more often than not (s'one of the reasons he's an ex!), and I was desperate sometimes to know there were other women out there tolerating it.

Whichever spouse is guilty of not cleaning up after themselves, helping out when someone is sick (or in general) has just gotten comfortable in a mindset that someone always does it and they must not mind. The other mindset of the guilty spouse is believing they do more than they actually do/the opposite spouse does less than they actually do.

It wasn't dumb. Saying it was such insults me, likely more than it should considering I'm not the one being called dumb. People blow off steam in communities of like-minded people to find something else that can be related to -- it's what happens. If you can't do that without it being insinuated that you're an idiot, there's something wrong.

nope the only chore dh does is feed the cows with the skidsteer and plow snow with the skidsteer...me and my morning sickness and bratty 2 year old do all the chicken chores ourselves...sick or not LOL sometimes it easier to do things yourself than ask...

I know my hubby is of the mindset that the housework is for women only. So even when I am sick I deal, the nice part of it is the good Lord blessed me with 6 wonderful children 4 of which help out a lot especially when I am sick. I am raising my boys to know how to cook clean and help out their spouse. My oldest tried the "that's women's work, dad says so" line on me, he got a reassuring cuff and was told if he ever says those words again he would eat them for supper!

When hubby gets sick he will sleep it off on the couch if he is not working, but if the job calls he is there working. Last winter he worked for two weeks with pneumonia in -30 weather, at home, he whines worse than my 3 year old. He will let me have a sleep if the kids are around to look after the two little ones and cook dinner or supper whichever is needed!

The kids do all the chores for me when I am sick. They actually do most of the chores now, I just go check to be sure everyone is okay and fed and watered properly

Pure stubbornness. I'll drag my sick and twisted body to the barn twice a day if it kills me. Some days it feels like it will.
Hubby helped once when I was really, really sick, but I had to go out, as he doesn't know where anything is, or who gets what. Luckily the kids were still on mom, as the doe would probably not let anyone else milk her.
The animals are mine, so I just have to buck up.
Hopefully I will find someone who will be interested in helping out sometime. Until then, I must stay healthy....

I could never speak highly enough of my Husband. My children have long been gone and grown up, doing their own lives, that I can hardly remember if I ever got help from them when I was ill. Can't speak to that. The kids are 42 and 37, so long time ago...I am very fortunate that I have a Husband that will rise to any occasion and help me. He never balks or questions when he would need to do chores for me. Even when I am not sick, if I don't feel like, for example, closing down the chickens, opening up the chickens, he is right on it. I only have chickens and our dogs to look after and I am glad of that. I toggle if I ever want to have livestock where I would need to do work and feed every day. But if I did, and could not pull it off, I know for a fact that my man would help and/or take over until I could. Just his way. If I am not well, he even makes me food and brings it to the bed and puts it on a bed tray so I can eat. I am fortunate in this way, and I really do appreciate all he does for me. I never abuse this fortune, and will try to do as much as I can before I will relent and ask him for any help if I do, I am independent in that way. This post reminds me of how grateful I am for this man that loves and cares for me in so many ways. Have an awesome day, CynthiaM.

You have a real gem there, Cynthia. Give him some extra love from all of us!

I am on my own here too, one man (or woman I suppose) show when it comes to chores at home. Hubby works long hours and does hard work so everything else is me. Not that I don't work hard too, just seems to be how it is here. When I am sick he barely notices or wants to I guess.
Oh well, at least I dont' have to get on the roof and clean the chimney, he does that!

Sweetened wrote:

Piet wrote:

chickencrazygirl wrote:
Came in still amazed that a man will act like he is dieing when he is sick and a woman carries on with everything she normaly does in a day.

Hm..maybe you meant your husband instead and not men in general, but I find it a dumb thing to say no matter what..

It wasn't dumb. Saying it was such insults me, likely more than it should considering I'm not the one being called dumb. People blow off steam in communities of like-minded people to find something else that can be related to -- it's what happens. If you can't do that without it being insinuated that you're an idiot, there's something wrong.

I still find it a dumb thing to say and I am not calling anyone dumb here and sure as heck not find any idiots here..
Another dumb thing to say is that all women are the same..they are all...I hear it all the time especially in the oilpatch, I usually respond then by calling them "idiots"!!(does that saying offend or insult you??) Maybe one of those men can come write here and read your reactions to what he says? That would be the closest to you being in a mans footstep while reading the first post on this thread. It is your CHOICE who to be with and in any GOOD relationship there is good communication. If it bothers you when your husband is not helping enough, then TELL him and make him, that is what strong women do!

I think the realy question here is, when yo uare sick, does your life partener care enough, or pay enough attention to you to notice and help?

What do we call children, over the age of 15, who sit on their duff while mom does all the work? We call them slackers and other things I cannot type on a G rated forum. So why are spouses excused from the relational obligation of caring about others. noticing others, reacting to the needs of others?

Sheesh. I made a post on the importance of temperament in animals. However it seems some of us have spouses whose temperaments need a tune up. I understand that there are circumstances in everyone's lives that affect these situations. A spouse has a job and cann't be physically around to help, that happens a lot. But...this is in fact a HUGE and senstive topic that could start off quietly enough and end with lawyers. Lawyers make everything more fun!

Piet wrote:

chickencrazygirl wrote:
Came in still amazed that a man will act like he is dieing when he is sick and a woman carries on with everything she normaly does in a day.

Hm..maybe you meant your husband instead and not men in general, but I find it a dumb thing to say no matter what..

No really I meant what I said ......I have 4 boys as well. A house full of Men
Even friends talk about their DH they act like they are dieing when they are sick .......I would say they should MAN UP but feel that maybe they should WOMAN UP