What a horrible 2 weeks.

What a horrible 2 weeks. I guess it's all relative and I should be grateful for what I have, but I am exhausted and frustrated. I am not a complainer but I just need a rant.

I now have bought a new laptop after the other 3 month old netbook screwed up so badly they couldn't get any data off the hard drive. It is away being warranty repaired. So after 2 trips into town to staples, my old dead laptop from before Christmas let me (or Staples) thankfully get my (chicken and other) photos back from before 3 months ago. But I have lost all my emails and bookmarks, hatching egg lists etc. It just took me ages to re-find you here. I am hoping to spend more time here, though we all know its quieter on the forums in Summer. And I have no clue as to what summer holds for us. I am almost starting not to care.

I have an internet business course I am dying to spend time on and haven't touched it in weeks. Thanks to the crashed computer it looks like I am going to have to re-buy word and excel and all that as it says we have had the max number of registrations of the product from the discs we have.

2 weekends ago, hubby decided we'd splurge and get our beautiful farm finally on the market-even though the mudroom,laundry room and basement were total sties of stuff put,dropped and left there. So in 3 days we decluttered the main part of the house and cleaned and had our realtor friend come and take pics of it and list it. I did find my I-phone 3 that day, the one I lost coming back from Chickenlees in Kingston in December when we sold out two steer. I replaced it after a month and am now tied to a longer contract and we found the thing the other day. It absolutely had to have gone through the snow blower, as it was about 100 feet down the laneway and it had to be dropped on my way into the house at midnight when we got home. Anyway I let it dry and it works! So I didn't need to replace it!

This week despite 12 hour days each, we have been feverishly tidying the rest of the clutter in the basement etc while trying to clear up the snow melt treasures that have been blown around and all the general crap that lays around on a farm. We had our first showing yesterday and someone had stood on one of our beds, walked all over it up near the pillows to look at a breaker panel. Also it's wierd, a few of our nicer old pictures were hanging really crooked too, and they weren't when we went to work so now we are going to be extra careful security wise.

My dear lovely beautiful shiny Red 2010 Dodge RAM truck is for sale too (so I can pay my student loans off quicker, and just rent a car when I work) and I think I need to re-valet, ugh, it as someone wants to look at it this weekend.

I have been doing an old friend a favour and hatching some muscovies for him and lost track of the days...no wonder... and come home Wednesday to a nasty silhouette in the bottom of the still-turning borrowed sportsman. Thinking it was some grisly debris form an egg (took out the black stinkers last weekend) I shone a light through the (thankfully clear) door and it was a live duckling, with another out and quiet a few of pips. I had to open the door to move the bottom baby so I could level the turner without squashing it. Meantime shrink wrapping at least 2 more as far as I can tell, that I think I am going to have to birth shortly under warm running water-one more has it's eye stuck shut with dried up goo from the egg. Think we may get 9 form the 35 eggs left in. I'll listen I think, and may help them.

Wednesday night, some people showed up for free glass from our Kijiji ad, they'd been here before in the winter and I forgot they were coming. Nathan was dealing with it and he wasn't even home. I was burning our fallen down wooden tomato cages and branches that have blown off our maples when they got here in my pajamas after an 11 hour stressful work day. I had to leave what I was doing to see to them. I nearly burnt the barn down, we have a 80 foot by 30 foot area of blackened burnt grass right behind the barn, luckily it was on the south side of the barn and the wind was blowing to the south. I think the big boulders helped too. Hubby came home saw it right away, and got the shovel and the water on it that I had by the burn barrel.

Anyway I am fed up, exhausted, owe about 25 emails and think I may spend this day off sleeping, and soaking in the tub and eating English chocolate. I already had #5 and #6 my black sumatras in my fleecy for a cuddle this morning and it felt so relaxing and nice. I relit the wood furnace as it is cooled down outside now and think I'll luxuriate in the warmth. Hubby is at work and the plan is to look at about 5 properties tomorrow and hope there is an end to this. I am so sad to leave, I can't seem to make myself muster the energy to do anything. The egg collecting for shipping is coming to an end anyway, I think it added a 10 hours just on the farm work without emails and confirmations etc. I am glad to have done it, but what a lot of work. I am off the next 2 weeks and hope to get out in my garden and finally plant the garlic. Thanks for listening. I guess it just builds and then you don't deal with things well.

Hope things start looking up for you.

I'm thinking they've been moving the pictures to see if you're using them to hide holes or cracks.

Hope things start picking up for you!! I know all of use who have recieved eggs really appreciate them, and those of us still to get eggs will appreciate those also!! Thanks sooo much for all you have done and will do for all of us!

Hopefully you can find a nice new place, with room and your place sells so that life can maybe settle down a little for you.

Claire, you have had some stressful times lately, and thank the lucky stars you have alot of friends that are standing behind you and supporting you as you go threw this transission in your life.
You are a very admired, intellegent, kindhearted women. I read your rant and was so happy to see you are going to take the time for yourself and indulging in some of those luxuries you deserve.
Way too much on your plate, but it will all happen sooner than later. So keep taking those relaxing deep breaths, thinking thankful thoughts and cuddling those chooks.

Oh Claire we are hear to listen, that's what friends are for. Things have been a challenge for you lately but you can handle it, god only gives you what you can handle. Just remember to take care of yourself, it is very important.

Claire you definately have had trying times lately, you are a strong woman I can tell and you are getting through it just fine. I think us women (and maybe some men) just take too much on, don't ask for help, and then become so bogged down it just isnt worth it any more.
With all the changes going on in your life right now it makes it even worse. I am glad you have some time off to do a few simple enjoyable things before you have to leave your farm.

There are days here too that I sit in the shop, just listening to the happy little peeps from my brooders full of chickees, and relax. Other times I feel like giving up, downsizing, and making more time for me...I am proud of you for the hard decisions you have had to make, hard times you have had to bare, and the strength you still show.

Have an enjoyable, relaxing day today, and know we are all here having a tea with you in cyberspace.

You know that we, and probably anybody else here, will do everything we can to help you if needed. You just say the word. I hope you feel a little better after venting, and did enjoy some Galaxy chocolate.

In the meantime, I can help you out with your computer software needs. Let me know what operating system you are running on your new computer.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Enough to make me cry. I know I can ask, but I am sure you all know sometimes it just makes more work trying to explain what you need than put your head down and plough through it the best you can. I paid a guy I found through Kijiji to take the full 6 by 12 feet trailer we have piled up with scrap and garbage to the dump (they are nasty at our dump...ultra picky and full of their own self importance-we hate dealing with them, so stressful) and that was a real help avoiding that whole mess. When it warms up a little, we'll get him to paint the front porch. Chicklee I have emailed you, thanks.

So this afternoon I have 6 muscovy ducklets in the brooder, they have finally stopped shrilling though the house! Another 7 in the bator, maybe one more pipped. 4 of the bator babies I helped out as they were totally glued in their pip-holes. I think I'll help any that pip, but not otherwise. I just would hate to only show up at our friends with 2-3 chicks but it looks like 13 for now anyway and another 20 odd eggs still not pipped and I am not really expecting them. We had a 4 hour hydro outage last Sunday night when the tornado warning was on. I figured it should be OK maybe delay them, but they definitely hatched early anyway.

I just had English Cadburys I had to make do with while soaking in the tub with an audio book playing. Hubby is coming home a little early and we are going to town to get him some treats too. He looked so tired this morning, I was sorry he had to get up at 6am and go. He'd never call in a sick day if he wasn't but he looked pretty pale to me. We should be able to catch upon the sleep this weekend anyway as the house is done for the most part. I can then spend some time on my course and website if it`s going to be cold and snowy we may as well cuddle up by the fire. When I was burning the old dried veggie plants on Tuesday, I had Violet and Dolly out ranging with me. It was nice having them scratching around near me. Dolly landed on my head more than once! Yes, spending time with the birds is relaxing! Hidden, I hope you and everyone can start to enjoy the spring and your farms in a peaceful way.

Edited to ad...we have another viewing here Monday at 6pm, so we'll visit the old fella I hatched the muscovies for and deliver them as they will be done hatching by then.