I've griped about this before. People who have the social graces of a (fill in the blank).
Horsey Teen Daughter dabbles in horse trading, a profession that the world mostly takes a dim view of to begin with. Horse traders, used car salesmen and lawyers are often grouped together as this level of society. But that is not related to this post.
Teen was selling a 'project' horse. She did not post an ad extolling his virtues until she had spent a month on his back, riding him hard and determining what his virtues were. She put her price on him and up went the add. In the meantime at the stable he was at he developed chronic squirts and began to lose weight rapidly and drastically. He was brought home for remedial treatment and feeding.
Some people called about him. Several phone talks followed. They came to visit. They were very intersted. They came to visit him again...oh he was going to be the horse for them! We said that we would NOT sell the horse until we felt his health was in a better place, until we saw him gain some weight, but would certainly hold the horse for them. They made us promise to stay in touch, which we did through email updates. Then one day they phoned and said, "what makes you think this horse is worth so much when we can get a horse elsewhere for less than half your asking price?" Horsey teen said, "I know what this horse can do, I know how sound he is and I know what he is yet capable of becoming, the price is the price."
And that was the last we heard. THey never actaully made us a lower offer, they never said they were uninterested. They just FELL OFF THE MAP without a hi, bye or spit on you. This makes me batty! People who are too stunned to offer a conclusion, but leave you hanging there. What the heck is wrong with people? If they have changed their mind, fine, you are free to change your mind. But at least call or email (easy way out) and say, "THank you, but it doesn't look like this will be the (horse, dog, cow, chicken, car) for us. HOpe you find a good home for (animal)" What is so bloody hard about that? IT's a social nicety and a graceful way to handle something and it let's everyone know where things are or aren't going. And yet you would NOT believe the people who just walk away without a word. It sucks and I hate it and it makes me VERY happy I have NOT sold an animal to someone who will so easily and cowardly turn their back on the social obligation to another human. ANd yes, there IS an obligation in my mind, not to buy an animal, but to conclude any transaction with clarity and honesty. Those people made us believe they wanted this horse and then simply disappeared. Now, if they show up with the money, the answer will be, go away. You have proven yourselves to be unreliable and take the easy way out and you are NOT who gets to own this horse!
I think upfront, honest, clear ethical personal conduct, even when it is uncomfortable tells me everything I need to know about how people conduct their lives and yes, care for their animals. If you cut corners with your human interactions when it suits you to, I believe you will cut corners when caring for your animals becomes tedious, expensive or demanding. While a simple phone call of inquiry does not form a social contract, several contacts and a clear expression of interest DOES set up a social contract that MUST be clearly and neatly concluded one way or the other. No one likes to tell someone you have changed your mind, but come on, grow a set, clean up your messes and get on with life. You are not here to make everyone happy, but you are here to be honest, so make that 'no thank you' phone call if you have to. I drives me nuts when people don't!
Horsey Teen Daughter dabbles in horse trading, a profession that the world mostly takes a dim view of to begin with. Horse traders, used car salesmen and lawyers are often grouped together as this level of society. But that is not related to this post.
Teen was selling a 'project' horse. She did not post an ad extolling his virtues until she had spent a month on his back, riding him hard and determining what his virtues were. She put her price on him and up went the add. In the meantime at the stable he was at he developed chronic squirts and began to lose weight rapidly and drastically. He was brought home for remedial treatment and feeding.
Some people called about him. Several phone talks followed. They came to visit. They were very intersted. They came to visit him again...oh he was going to be the horse for them! We said that we would NOT sell the horse until we felt his health was in a better place, until we saw him gain some weight, but would certainly hold the horse for them. They made us promise to stay in touch, which we did through email updates. Then one day they phoned and said, "what makes you think this horse is worth so much when we can get a horse elsewhere for less than half your asking price?" Horsey teen said, "I know what this horse can do, I know how sound he is and I know what he is yet capable of becoming, the price is the price."
And that was the last we heard. THey never actaully made us a lower offer, they never said they were uninterested. They just FELL OFF THE MAP without a hi, bye or spit on you. This makes me batty! People who are too stunned to offer a conclusion, but leave you hanging there. What the heck is wrong with people? If they have changed their mind, fine, you are free to change your mind. But at least call or email (easy way out) and say, "THank you, but it doesn't look like this will be the (horse, dog, cow, chicken, car) for us. HOpe you find a good home for (animal)" What is so bloody hard about that? IT's a social nicety and a graceful way to handle something and it let's everyone know where things are or aren't going. And yet you would NOT believe the people who just walk away without a word. It sucks and I hate it and it makes me VERY happy I have NOT sold an animal to someone who will so easily and cowardly turn their back on the social obligation to another human. ANd yes, there IS an obligation in my mind, not to buy an animal, but to conclude any transaction with clarity and honesty. Those people made us believe they wanted this horse and then simply disappeared. Now, if they show up with the money, the answer will be, go away. You have proven yourselves to be unreliable and take the easy way out and you are NOT who gets to own this horse!
I think upfront, honest, clear ethical personal conduct, even when it is uncomfortable tells me everything I need to know about how people conduct their lives and yes, care for their animals. If you cut corners with your human interactions when it suits you to, I believe you will cut corners when caring for your animals becomes tedious, expensive or demanding. While a simple phone call of inquiry does not form a social contract, several contacts and a clear expression of interest DOES set up a social contract that MUST be clearly and neatly concluded one way or the other. No one likes to tell someone you have changed your mind, but come on, grow a set, clean up your messes and get on with life. You are not here to make everyone happy, but you are here to be honest, so make that 'no thank you' phone call if you have to. I drives me nuts when people don't!
