Tough morning....

I had a tough morning. I dispatched a whole bunch of cockerels today. Well grown, healthy birds just not good enough for the breeding pen. I was going to grow them out to eat, but circumstances have changed and I have to down size.
I know all the logical things about this process, but I do find it soul sucking. I never, ever feel good about it and have to steel myself every time I do it. It is part of the deal I choose to participate in, but it makes for a very yucky day.
Thanks for letting me vent a bit about it, sigh, I know I will get over it, eventually.......

We are going to have at least fifteen that have to go this year. I am dreading it. I am not even actually doing it , my husband is and I am still dreading it. They are all so beautiful and full of life and I know them all because I have spent so much time with them. I am hoping our boys will come up to help in exchange for roosters in their freezers.

I feel your sad.

We still get bummed out every time we have to ship one of our older cows.

.

Silly me, every time I must perform this duty, I thank each bird for the contribution he has made to my breeding program. Culls and keepers...both important parts of the breeding process.

Schipperkesue wrote:Silly me, every time I must perform this duty, I thank each bird for the contribution he has made to my breeding program.  Culls and keepers...both important parts of the breeding process.

That's very spiritual of you. I know many hunters who do something similar with their kills - it has ancient roots in many different cultural backgrounds.

Coop I understand I hate when I do it also and Like sue I thank the animal for sharing his life with me

Coopslave, every time I have to take a bird's life, no matter the reason, it leaves a leaden, numbing feeling. Even if it was sick I feel that I failed in my duty to cure. I remind myself that the bad feelings keep me real, show that I still value life. The day this gets easy, I'd better give up animals.

I am with you too. I always say sorry to each one as well.

I always seem to find homes for my extra roos. *knock wood* I do cull if they are sick or if there is suffering. Had to do one recently. She was an old girl. One of my oldest at nearly 12. I watched as she began eating less and less. Then when she went off her water, I knew. I feel like it sucks my soul from out of me each time I have to do it. Maybe it's good that it does. I would hate myself if I just felt matter-of-factly about taking life.

I feel for you coopslave, we had to go through that this past weekend. Culling extra male ducks. Some were so beautiful and I hated to have to dispatch them, they will feed us and the cats for winter but still it was hard to see the good ones go.
We do a lot of roosters each year for the freezer, just something a person has to do when you raise chickens and most people want pullets, so that is not too hard. But when a person has to dispatch a very nice male bird, that you just don't have room for to winter, it is hard.

I have a hard time with all of it, so I feel your pain Coopslave.  

I don't feel more or less pain for a beautiful animal.  To me they're all beautiful.  

I thank each and every soul that lives and dies for my gain; at least the ones I raise.  I admit I am a bit deadened to the meat I buy at the supermarket and don't think to do it.  My bad - those are the ones who need our gratitude most.

I don't think I could have a broodmare raise multiple foals, or a cow that raised a bunch of calves for me, and at the end of their "useful" life, send them off to either auction or abattoir.  I would try to dispatch them here at home.  It's similar for chickens who have laid their guts out, their asses off, for me, in return for so little.

I lost a hen the other day.  She was a battery hell farm rescue, and she laid a big white egg for me ~ 1750 days out of the ~1825 days she lived with me.  I have described her here before - she is was the most delighted hen I'd ever witnessed grab a mouse corpse and run FAST AS SHE COULD to some private spot....I laughed and revelled at how wild and chicken-y she was despite her regimented beginnings.... So I was sad, but also a bit happy when I found her laying peacefully, not pecked, just having expired, softly supported by rice hulls in a nest box (work ethic to the end!!).

So I feel your pain Coopslave.  They are all worth so much.  The life of a livestock/bound-for-food animal is usually short and pretty brutal.  Nobody gives a rip, really, whether they had a good, natural life, and whether they died with dignity or at least (at least!!!) not in a state of abject terror and pain.

So the fact that you feel something, anything, for these souls is, in my mind, a small payback for the sacrifice they make and the lot that is theirs'.  I think you can hold your head up and know that at least for these birds, they were appreciated, and I'm sure dispatched with care and minimal suffering, and with a small appreciation for their short time on this earth.  I guess if you end up with them on your table, you might just take a short moment and say "Thank You" for the fact of them, and next time it might not hit you so hard when you have to do what you did today.  The birds you dealt with today are the lucky ones in today's grand scheme, so please try and take some comfort that you provided that for them.

farmchiq wrote:I don't think I could have a broodmare raise multiple foals, or a cow that raised a bunch of calves for me, and at the end of their "useful" life, send them off to either auction or abattoir.  I would try to dispatch them here at home.

We used to put them down here at home, but the price on cull cows is really good right now - $1000 or so. That buys a couple of months of groceries, makes a nice addition to the kids' RESPs, pays the power bill for four months, buys feed for the rest of the herd, buys a half-mile of new fence by a professional fencing crew ...

Our cows have an exceptionally good life with us, and we generally keep them much longer than most producers. We don't cull just because they come up open one year. When we cull one, we try to keep her most recent heifer calf as her replacement, so that she lives on in our herd.

I would like to think that our cows have enough respect for what WE do for THEM to understand why we're shipping them.

After all, shooting them out in the back forty and leaving them to rot and be torn apart by coyotes and birds is not a very respectful way to pay homage to their lives. Finding a use for their bodies, once they are beyond reproductive use, IS respect.

It's the cow form of organ donation. Delicious organ donation.

Nicely said.

I keep my old cows until I worry that they are so frail that the wolves could take them down. The abattoir is kinder than that.

And they seem to understand.

Not saying you need to agree with me. We all have to live with the choices we make. xo

yep, sigh. Have an awesome day, CynthiaM.

Thanks for the supportive words everyone. It is just a fact of hatching but I feel so much better when I eat them. I still have a few more to do, I just couldn't do anymore. I have I think 3 or 4 PChant cockerels that are really to good to waste but they can't stay with me. They are still here at this stage.....sigh. I am usually so good at staying detached from my cockerels but the last hatch this year was a different story for me. There were only 4 cockerels, 2 Coopers and 2 PChants that are such sweet things. I have to say it is the first time since the early beginnings that I have done this. When I go sit in the bachelor pen they come and 'hang' out with me and sit on my feet. I think the others think they are CRAZY! I have always seen 'special' ones for the breeding pen, but this is different. They were hatched shortly before Mom passed and I think I used them and their pullets for my quiet time.
So anyways, the 2 Coopers are gone, but I just couldn't do the PChants yet. They are looking to have promise. I suppose I should have just done the deed. I already have the 3 I am keeping. Oh well, it is life in the livestock world.

On a nice note. Spent the morning in the young pullet pen. Have picked 3 keepers (1 Cooper and 2 PChants) for sure and maybe will choose 1 or 2 more. I will have up to 8 available with some very nice cockerels to accompany them. I will be travelling to AB in the near future if that helps.