Parents- Never give up

This post comes after many journeys I have taken in support of my kids. My story is undoubtedly different than yours, but my message is this: always persevere- you know what you child needs more than anyone else. If you think they are being lost in the school system, speak up. If you get shut down try again. Always be friendly but firm. And document everything. (Colour coding it all in a nice neat file doesn't hurt either ) Do what needs to be done for your child. This time will impact their future. Talk to the teachers, the principal, the resource teachers and counsellors - call team meetings and be an active part in that team. Always hold them accountable and always show your appreciation for what they do. The are the front lines of your kids' education.
If you are wondering why I am a writing this, it's because today I scored a major victory for my son. As a child with Aspergers, he has an almost genius capability in math. His vocabulary is of an adult. But without direction and support, it will never be utilized. He is moving to the K-12 school next year. Our school only goes to grade 6. Because of funding cuts, I was told there would be no support from an Educational Assistant for him. Not cool. For the past three years that he has been at his present school he has learned to shine. He has surpassed everyone's expectations, even mine. To let this child get lost in the system is not an option. I had a very good meeting with the new principal today. Armed with my files ordered, and yes colour coded and a smile, I achieved my goal. There will be an EA meeting him off of the bus the first day he starts. He will be supported and his learning style will be acknowledged. He will have the time he needs to regroup when necessary (a life skill I think we all could learn) and I anticipate will shine in the new school as well! 
So don't ever go e up hope or the fight if you feel your child needs more. In the midst of budget cuts and overworked staff on the front lines, you must speak up. Your child will thank you for it. I promise.

SUsan, this brought a vision to my mind. A knight, in full armour, astride a massive horse, spear lowered, with a calm smile on their face, charging the opponent, riding into battle.

What does mom stand for? METAL ON METAL!

Lol uno. Yep. Mama bear does not like it when someone messes with her nest.

Way to go Susan!!! 

We are so frustrated with the school system right now.  It's encouraging to hear success stories. 

From someone who works as an EA, I really think more parents need to stand up to the system like this for their children. The "new" way the education system is doing things is NOT in the best interests of the children.

Way to go Susan!

Thank you Susan that's a great story

You are so correct DC. The cuts are making the school system left only for the children who can "tow the line". Anyone with a different learning style is being shut out. What scares me is that these children (and NO child should be left behind) have just as much to offer. Sometimes, I think, even more. It is their unique way of looking at the world that could potentially make for someone who will become a leader or someone who will solve a lot of problems we now face. Regardless. Every child deserves a chance. It will be up to them if they take it. But they first need the opportunity. 
Black dove. Don't give up. Keep fighting. Do what you need to do. Be vocal and strong. If you ever need support, please let me know.

Good on ya Susan!!

blackdove wrote:Way to go Susan!!! 

We are so frustrated with the school system right now.  It's encouraging to hear success stories. 

Our school division is amazing. Bend over backwards for every kid who needs extra help.

We had to push for every single one of our kids. 

Daughter wasn't paying attention or doing her work.  Better have her assessed for a learning disability.  Not knowing any better, we did.  Turned out she was way ahead and needed extra work to keep her occupied.  She is now in university on scholarship.

First son had some trouble reading.  Noone available this year, the resource people are working with grade 5.  Next year, noone available, the resource people are working with grade 4.  Wife just about reached through the phone to grab them by the scruff of the neck and tell them he was getting help THIS year.  He did.  Later had to have a meeting because he wasn't getting work done.  Had to bring in information about perfectionist people and give them some strategies the might work, oh and he's being bullied.  Fix it.  His work hot up and now he makes top marks in high school.

Second son was having trouble in French.  Went through the meetings where all the teachers had their premeeting so they were all on the same page.  First they wanted us to have his hearing checked.  The next year they started asking to have him checked for a learning disability.  We didn't do either because this is the third time around and we've heard it all before.  After politely declining for about 3 years, I finally lost it on the vice-principal and we have heard no more about it.  In the end, the solution was Rosetta Stone.  Yep, the language learning system you see on TV.  Son does a module or two each night and his French has caught up to the rest of his class.  

Guess my point is that you have to take ownership yourself.  The teachers try but, with a big class, it's easy for kids to get lost in the shuffle.

Susan, so good for you. We had a foster child many years ago with aspbergers and also a nephew that lives with it. These are absolutely remarkable and seriously intelligent young adults, just needing to be living in a different way in life. Good for you, stand up for your kids for surely, they are the future. Have an awesome day, CynthiaM.

authenticfarm wrote:

blackdove wrote:Way to go Susan!!! 

We are so frustrated with the school system right now.  It's encouraging to hear success stories. 

Our school division is amazing. Bend over backwards for every kid who needs extra help.

I can't believe the difference in school divisions.  I didn't really think about it until we moved two years ago into a new division.  Had we known, we would have looked for a place that was still in the Yellowhead division.  It is only a 15 minute drive from here. 

What division are you in authentic?

St. Paul school division is our area. We have a lot of high needs areas in our division, so they are well prepared for kids who need more help.

Our teeny tiny school also has a free breakfast program for every kid, and a milk program.

authenticfarm wrote:St. Paul school division is our area. We have a lot of high needs areas in our division, so they are well prepared for kids who need more help.

Our teeny tiny school also has a free breakfast program for every kid, and a milk program.

I am very happy with the St.Paul school division! My son has grown leaps and bounds in his education! They are so good with him and they go out of their way to make sure that he is getting the best education. My daughter is excelling as well. She loves the smaller class sizes and the more personal attention. I do not regret moving from Calgary at all!

Fowler wrote:We had to push for every single one of our kids. 

Daughter wasn't paying attention or doing her work.  Better have her assessed for a learning disability.  Not knowing any better, we did.  Turned out she was way ahead and needed extra work to keep her occupied.  She is now in university on scholarship.

First son had some trouble reading.  Noone available this year, the resource people are working with grade 5.  Next year, noone available, the resource people are working with grade 4.  Wife just about reached through the phone to grab them by the scruff of the neck and tell them he was getting help THIS year.  He did.  Later had to have a meeting because he wasn't getting work done.  Had to bring in information about perfectionist people and give them some strategies the might work, oh and he's being bullied.  Fix it.  His work hot up and now he makes top marks in high school.

Second son was having trouble in French.  Went through the meetings where all the teachers had their premeeting so they were all on the same page.  First they wanted us to have his hearing checked.  The next year they started asking to have him checked for a learning disability.  We didn't do either because this is the third time around and we've heard it all before.  After politely declining for about 3 years, I finally lost it on the vice-principal and we have heard no more about it.  In the end, the solution was Rosetta Stone.  Yep, the language learning system you see on TV.  Son does a module or two each night and his French has caught up to the rest of his class.  

Guess my point is that you have to take ownership yourself.  The teachers try but, with a big class, it's easy for kids to get lost in the shuffle.

Same thing is happening with our son.  He is in a huge class and they insist he does everything in groups.  Last year they sent him to the occupational therapist at the school, thought maybe he had a disability.  But as soon as he was able to work alone in a quiet room he did just fine so I think the OC thought we were a little nuts for sending him to her in the first place. 

I tried to get them to let him work in a quieter room, but everything was about this rule and that rule and this school policy and that school policy. 

I spent the last year with a kid crying himself to sleep every night, begging me not to send him back to school. He had to carry around his own container of tums and advil because he had stomach aches and headaches from anxiety. 

I can't help but feel like if your kid isn't 'coded' (or as I call it, have a dollar sign on their head) they don't want to do anything for you.  It is all about whether they can get extra funding or not. 

We had so much more support in his last school, I wish we could send him back there. 

But, for now we have decided the only solution is to pull him out of school and he can work at home.  I have been fighting for the last 2 years and if they won't do anything then I will.  There is a virtual school he is going to go to now, where he works at home and has an online classroom and a teacher that instructs them via skype or something like that. 

I have my happy son back!! 

I am so glad for you and your son Susan.  I have two that the school and I failed, unfortunately for them they have never tried to rectify it as adults.  No excuse but being a single parent in a job which was not children friendly I couldn't take time off to go to the school when I needed to.  I did attend all parent teacher and anything else I could but because I was only on the other end of the phone they just pushed them along.  My youngest ended up at Slyvan which is a learning centre that costs big bucks.  I am retired and am right on the teachers with this one (15 now), being married also helps because now I would be able to say stick it to the employer if I had to.  I have my oldest son who is now gone back to university through work and my youngest one who will hopefully go to university right out of high school.  I am working with my grandson from one of my unsuccessful children to make sure he will succeed.  Education is important, not only for the learning aspect but for self-esteem in later life.  If I had a do over for my thirty plus aged children my work would be made to understand.  So for all of you that need to take that step be it in kindergarten or grade 10 do it now as there are no do overs.

Wow you guys. Your stories are touching. Black dove, I am glad you are finding a situation that works for you and your son. You have a lot of courage to work outside the box. Good on you. Foal, I'm sorry you have regrets. Life situations can make some situations feel next to impossible. That's where the education system is supposed to help out. Unfortunately it does not, and you are right, the time is now. I admire you for going the extra mile with your grandchild. I can tell how much you care. Kudos to both of you strong women. Way to go!

I am so glad for you and your son Susan.  I have two that the school and I failed, unfortunately for them they have never tried to rectify it as adults.  No excuse but being a single parent in a job which was not children friendly I couldn't take time off to go to the school when I needed to.  I did attend all parent teacher and anything else I could but because I was only on the other end of the phone they just pushed them along.  My youngest ended up at Slyvan which is a learning centre that costs big bucks.  I am retired and am right on the teachers with this one (15 now), being married also helps because now I would be able to say stick it to the employer if I had to.  I have my oldest son who is now gone back to university through work and my youngest one who will hopefully go to university right out of high school.  I am working with my grandson from one of my unsuccessful children to make sure he will succeed.  Education is important, not only for the learning aspect but for self-esteem in later life.  If I had a do over for my thirty plus aged children my work would be made to understand.  So for all of you that need to take that step be it in kindergarten or grade 10 do it now as there are no do overs.

Good job Susan. I bet your son is darn proud of his mom.