Never mind stupid, Sue. Who can challenge me for "Uncoordinated Farmer of the Year" award?

Dum dum that I am... decided I have time to take on a farm sitting job. No big deal, 13 chicken pens, 2 horses, 3 cats, 2 dogs, 1 running incubator, and 2 brooders full of chicks..... in addition to my practicum, job and own farm chores. Great idea!

I'm just about done my 2 week stint of farm sitting, I was exhausted last night after a long day of work and rushing to finish chores there so I could go to bed and sleep in preparation for a day at the hospital in my practicum. I took one step down the stairs, heard the dog bark, horse neigh and was attempting to turn on the flashlight and BAM, down I go like a slinkie down the stairs. Only with less grace, more cuss words and clearly less fun. I felt my lower back crunch down on the lip of a stair and then slithered to the bottom. Thankfully there were only 4 or 5 stairs, I can't remember and who's counting.

I got to the bottom and thought "Damn. I'm still alive. I hurt like h-e-double-hockey-sticks".

Que crying.

Que swearing that would make my great grandma roll over in her grave and rival the best drunken sailor you've ever heard. Well I can wiggle my toes so no need for the ambulance. Stand up and holy DINA does that ever hurt.

Que more crying and swearing.

Hobble one step. Nope. Text mom "I fell down the stairs". Feel like an idiot. Debate hitting "Send"... take one more step. Hit send. Cry some more. Decide to put on my big girl panties and hobble over to the brooder. By the time I get there, all 10 feet from where I crash landed, my mom had both replied and called - I would have heard if I wasn't so busy swearing. Dun dun da dunnn... parents to the rescue!

Or something like that.

Parents get lost. I can't tell them the address exactly, because I can't remember it. I tell them to look for my car parked at the road. Would have been helpful if they knew which road.

I can't even begin to think about going back up the stairs solo, so I decide to hobble around and "do the chores" while I wait....... oh good idea. 30 minutes later I'm almost done 5 minutes worth of chores and my parents arrive! Hallelujah.

Off to emergency I went. HOURS later, more cussing with the poking/prodding exam, 5 x-rays and some tests for my kidneys I'm sent home with some tylenol 3's.

And that brings me to today. Sick to my stomach from the pain meds, still to sore to move, and STILL HOUSE SITTING!

Saturday, please come quick.

Ouch! Glad you're okay. Sort of?

Aww..that is an awful story and as a mom, a little scary too! I am glad your mom and dad were able to get to you, finally. Get better soon.

To make you feel less klutz like, I have klutz Hubby story.

He works at a mill, where mud and debris frequently plug up drainage covers. At this mill there is also a burner and now and then the burner is cleaned out. After the machinery has removed most of the ash, guys go in with very long handled, heavy metal rakes to rake out the rest by hand. These rakes are made on site, heavy, nasty.

Hub is walking through the mill yard with one of these rakes propped on his shoulder, the head of the rake above and behind him. He spies a drainage cover all plugged up, water backing up, uh oh, it's freezing. This could be bad. He has to move some debris. He pokes it with his foot, but it's pretty packed in. Ah! He spies the metal pole he's holding onto. He'll just give it a mighty jab with the pole.

He jabs the metal rake handle into the drain with some force, which causes the rake head to collide with the back of his skull with equal force, knocking him to his knees and rendering him senseless until the stars quit swirling around. He staggers to his feet, grateful that no one saw him hit himself in the back of the head with a rake. Brought home a nasty scalp injury for his trouble, gouge marks from the teeth of the rake. He is now only allowed to use plastic kiddie gardening tools and chainsaws with no chain.

It can happen to anyone, Briarwood. Get well.

Ai, yai, yai!! You win, BP! But sadly you have set the bar pretty high and my un coordination knows no bounds. Fate will be gunning for me now!

Seriously though, sure glad this wasn't worse. I could have been a major disaster for you. I can't imagine what would happen around here if I were laid up with an injury.

uno wrote: He staggers to his feet, grateful that no one saw him hit himself in the back of the head with a rake.

Isn't it amazing how this is always the first thought.

1. OUCH!
2. Brain assesing damage... I'm alive.
3. Look around, did anybody see me looking stupid?
4. Check for broken bones...

I was working at a garden center one summer and the yard had big sprinklers set up amongst the pots of shrubs. Each of these had little feet around the base to keep them standing.

I was making my way through some pots as I moved stuff around and happened to step on one of these feet on a sprinkler that was sitting in an uneven spot. Foot moves the bottom a bit, top moves about 2 feet and connects with my jaw. The pain was incredible. I wouldn't have been surprised if it had broken my jaw. It didn't but I let loose a long string of expletives. only thought to look around after I had run out of swears and there was a little old lady shopping for shrubs a short ways off. Had to hope she was hard of hearing.


As for clumsy, went out to bring in the dog during a very icy period (years ago, had to chain the Black Lab or she'd disappear every time she got out the door). I step on the ice and my feet shot straight up in the air. I'm sure my feet were higher than my head when I hit the ground. Pulled every muscle in my back. It was a couple of days before I could even get myself up from a laying position (think it gave me a taste of what life could be like in my 90's).

Pity we didn't get it on tape, I might have won money on Funniest Videos.

Geez Briar, hope you feel better soon. That sounds scary!

Uno, love the rake story, I am good for doing stuff like that all the time.

My story will be difficult to tell and I may not do it justice really.
I am not able to lay in bed with a full bladder, I just can't ignore it. It usually happens around 4 in the morning. Often sleepy and grumpy that I have to get out of my warm bed and wish my bladder could just get its act together and be good until 6, it is never the case.

Cat is a very good cat (I keep saying this) and usually sleeps down at the corner of the bed on my side. I hate cats up by me when I sleep, and he is happy to have his spot down there. He also sometimes sleeps beside the bed, like a dog. Not sure why, maybe when I move to much.

Sleepy head, grumpy mind, full bladdered girl swings feet over edge of bed to wander in the dark to the bathroom. Cloudy brain says something soft and fuffy under right foot ALERT, ALERT! I quickly lift that foot but lose my balance a bit and have to put it down again so I kinda take a step forward with it, well now the cat has moved, right? So I step fully on the poor thing with all my weight, it makes this awful squawk sound and zooms out from under my foot. Of course this means my feet go straight up in the air and my body goes back. First thing to hit is the back of my head. I now know what seeing stars means as a bright flash went off in my brain in the dark. It hurt!

Hubby is such a deep sleeper, Uno you will understand this, even with all the noise, the loud thud and me swearing loudly, and believe me I am loud and good at swearing, he kinda says 'whaaaa, what....wha' and goes straight back to sleep.

I lay there for a minute, then go find the cat to see if I have killed it. He is fine, just very indigent. I suppose in hind sight I should be glad my bladder didn't let go..........

I have short story as well , years ago , I was a lot younger then ...LOL..I was making a cattle shelter for some steers that I had bought and they would need it for the coming winter .I had cut some poles ( Tamarack ) at the beginning of the year in antisipation for there arrival .Well I'm digging holes ( three to four feet deep ,based on how many rocks I find ! ) and putting on two by fours onto the wall sections as I get the poles set in the holes etc .Well there are a few branch stems left here and there from branch's and I have a axe that I use to wack them off with . Now the best that I can remember is wacking the axe into the end of a pole and standing it up ,Stomp Stomp ......STARS ! By stomping the pole up and down to make sure it was firmly on the ground I had shaken loose the axe that was at the top of the eight feet of the pole that was exposed ??? I recall stumbling to the house ,blood running down my forehead and me knowing full well that the axe had fallen down and hit me ! My poor wife freaked out ( I hadn't felt ,looked to see how bad it was ! Well she got me into the car and off to the Hospital to see how bad the damage was ! Firts question was .....domestic abuse ? My poor wife was beside herself ,NO ! In the end it turned out that gravity took over and the blunt end being heavier had hit my head not the sharp freshly sharpend cutting edge ......don't use axes much anymore ...strange eh ??

Being a champion klutz and frequent bone breaker I can tell you that often breaking a bone isn't as painful as injuries that are "only" torn muscles and bruises. Sympathies! Glad you survived! I wonder if horse and dog weren't warning - "watch that step, people often slip there". Or maybe there was a hiccup in the universe everyone felt and you suffered for...

Anyway, robaxacet (sp?) is powerful stuff made for back pain.

Hope you feel better soon - gentle stretches on the floor will help eventually! (watch for cat though!)

coopslave wrote:Geez Briar, hope you feel better soon. That sounds scary!

Uno, love the rake story, I am good for doing stuff like that all the time.

My story will be difficult to tell and I may not do it justice really.
I am not able to lay in bed with a full bladder, I just can't ignore it. It usually happens around 4 in the morning. Often sleepy and grumpy that I have to get out of my warm bed and wish my bladder could just get its act together and be good until 6, it is never the case.

Cat is a very good cat (I keep saying this) and usually sleeps down at the corner of the bed on my side. I hate cats up by me when I sleep, and he is happy to have his spot down there. He also sometimes sleeps beside the bed, like a dog. Not sure why, maybe when I move to much.

Sleepy head, grumpy mind, full bladdered girl swings feet over edge of bed to wander in the dark to the bathroom. Cloudy brain says something soft and fuffy under right foot ALERT, ALERT! I quickly lift that foot but lose my balance a bit and have to put it down again so I kinda take a step forward with it, well now the cat has moved, right? So I step fully on the poor thing with all my weight, it makes this awful squawk sound and zooms out from under my foot. Of course this means my feet go straight up in the air and my body goes back. First thing to hit is the back of my head. I now know what seeing stars means as a bright flash went off in my brain in the dark. It hurt!

Hubby is such a deep sleeper, Uno you will understand this, even with all the noise, the loud thud and me swearing loudly, and believe me I am loud and good at swearing, he kinda says 'whaaaa, what....wha' and goes straight back to sleep.

I lay there for a minute, then go find the cat to see if I have killed it. He is fine, just very indigent. I suppose in hind sight I should be glad my bladder didn't let go..........

Nice to know that so many others take tumbles.

But this one made me think of another bedroom story.

My Aunt likes to rearrange her furniture. Does it all the time. Her husband had a job that involved odd hours. One day she rearranged her bedroom. Hubby comes home in the middle of the night, doesn't turn on the light so as not to disturb her, and goes to flop down in the bed. WHUMP! Full length on the floor. Auntie then employs tremendous self control to pretend to be asleep while holding in laughter.

[quote="FowlerMy Aunt likes to rearrange her furniture. Does it all the time. Her husband had a job that involved odd hours. One day she rearranged her bedroom. Hubby comes home in the middle of the night, doesn't turn on the light so as not to disturb her, and goes to flop down in the bed. WHUMP! Full length on the floor. Auntie then employs tremendous self control to pretend to be asleep while holding in laughter.
[/quote]

Sounds like that was no accident!

Oh Briarwood I sure hope you feel better soon and I hope you didn't cause any major damage to yourself, your heart was in the right place!

Hubby fell down steep basement stairs once slinkied down on his spine, foot when threw the dry wall at the bottom, then when he got up his legs were all twisted in my laundry pile and he couldn't get out....I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

He also fell outside in the yard moving huge boulders, hit his head on a rock and knocked himself out...again I was laughing so hard I almost peed...for some reason seeing hubby get hurt makes me laugh uncontrollably.

It occurs to me how lucky we are with our modern technology. How long might Briarwood have been there before being missed, or would have had to drag themselves out of there.

My Uncle was cutting up a harvester for scrap and a large piece fell down and broke his leg. He had to crawl a considerable way back to the house before my Aunt saw him out a window.

I should have posted this when I was more healed. The laughing at replies hurts. lol! Love the stories so far, makes me feel like less of a klutz!

Been reading all the great stories. Been wanting to play too. Only I am such a klutz I just don't know which one would be appropriate to share.

The scarriest one for me was when I was working on our garage. My dad had built a garage ages ago when we first moved here. Only it wasn't built particularly well. One wall was built supper strong with heavy wood and the other was paper thin with supports pieced together. Eventually the heavy wall started to pull the weaker wall and it began to look like the leaning tower. As Bruce has the outside job and isn't really the carpenter, I took on the job of builder. I don't mind as I enjoy it. It just means, I am working alone.

I am up a ladder. Ladders and I are not the best of friends. I don't like heights. When I work, my mind also tends to wander. I will start thinking about all kinds of things and it sometimes takes my mind off of where it should be. So I am coming down from being up on this ladder and I thought I had my mind where it needed to be which was counting the rungs so I know when I am on the ground. Or so I thought. I ended up thinking the 3rd rung from the ground was it and so I stepped off.

As I am a klutz, I recognize that blackness you come out of that tells you something bad
happened. I did the curses. I did the look around. Yup, even when you know you're alone you still check to see if someone saw. Move to the body check. I landed in a sitting position with both legs straight out front. Thankfully all my extra padding in the trunk helped absorbed the fall. That is when I realized something else was absorbed I didn't count on. I go to move. Find I can't as something won't let me. I feel sick. Slowly I try to raise my butt straight up. That is when I feel something cold, metal. I get turn round, unto my knees and stare at a huge metal bolt sticking out of the ground. Hand goes round and I feel a hole in my pants and a finger brings out a red color that I know isn't paint. I get a hammer and pull this thing out of the ground that is nearly a foot long and about 1/4 in diameter. Thankfully, only 2 inches was stuck out of the ground or it might have been far worse.

Funny thing was the pain wasn't immediate, but by the next day I had a hard time walking due to the constant throbbing. I also had a literally bullseye on my cheek. The center was red and everything else was shades of black & purple. I know as I just had to have Bruce take a picture. I wanted to see it. I also use it to remind myself keep mind on the job and to make sure before stepping off that ladder next time.

Love you Toybarons but I'm NOT going to ask to see that photo!!