Mutilation for the Nation.

Did you ever sit in a public washroom and see one of those small, square metal toilet tissue dispensers? The kind that actually dispensed rigid sheets of fine grit sand paper that was supposed to be toilet paper? Our school used to have those. It used to have words stamped into the metal, "Sanitation for the Nation."

I used to sit on the pot, avoiding algebra, and think of other things that might be stamped there.

Salutation for the Nation.
Irritation for the Nation.
Irrigation for the Nation.
Procrastination for the Nation.
Constipation for the Nation.
Salivation for the Nation.

I flunked grade 11 math. (no surprise there)

Of course you have figured out by now that this is a gauntlet toss to SoSmoothSue and Arctic and several of our other wordsmiths. This is a challenge to mutilate some well known work of poetic fame.

These long, hot days of summer have me worn down and dragged out and I need a little shot of mental ha ha. Wish I could think of something to start us off but to be honest that nostalgic walk to the bathrooms of my youth tuckered me out.
Who shall be first to dip their toe? To take a line and add a twist? Don't create, mutilate!

OK, I'll play...

Dispensation for the Nation

Depending on how many sheets are left...
Desperation for the Nation

and how rough the paper is...
Indignation for the Nation
Mutation for the Nation

or for the soft stuff..
Adoration for the Nation
Jubilation for the Nation

Quite frankly, I think you could take the whole rhyming thing in a new direction. How about:
Towels for the Bowels?
Grit for the ... (well, you get the picture)

Oh my! I almost inhaled my gum I was laughing so hard!

Resuscitation for the Nation!

Good one, Ars800!

The Tiger"
~With Appolgies to William Blake (1757- 1827)

Wipe'er Wipe'er, burning bright
Had burritos just last night,
Should I curse or should I cry
Flames frame thy fearful symmetry!

In what moaning weeping or sighs
Burnt the ring between my thighs,
Oh dear Lord my butts a pyre,
What the hand dare to soothe the fire?

Oh no, please no, is that a fart
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What pain will sear from just a tweet?

What the hell? Im going insane?
From what furnace blow my drain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
I think I broke the toilet hasp!

I see stars through grinding geers,
And water'd heaven with my tears,
Dare I smile, for now Im free?
No more flames and fire, just a pee?

Wipe'er gently, still burning bright
In the bathroom, alone at night,
Guts still churning, burning, sigh,
Burritos offer no sympathy.

LOL Articsun!!! a poetic masterpiece

Not quite on topic, but sorta (lol)... Has anyone ever looked at the "similar topics" at the bottom of the threads? Those are sometimes kinda funny and at times a little strange.

The ones I see right now are:
- Newbe Picked up a 29RLBS at Jeff Couch's RV Nation June 13th
- Photo Library - self mutilation
- Self Mutilation - what it is not
- Couch's RV Nation
- I got a critter nation... in Ireland!!

Oh My Gawd Arctic - YOU WIN!! for the laughs!!

Arctic, you never disappoint. Had to read that to Hubby, we laughed til we cried.

What IS with those suggested site things at the bottom? Scared to click on one. Could end up at a porn site or something. Who needs that?

I am wracking my brain for a poem. I've got nothing. Blank. Something will come though, eventually. Just waiting for SoSharpSue to toss something on the table. Have sure been enjoying the laughs so far!

I think SlipperySue slides off for some shows tomorrow... I can only hope that she find time to join in...
\

Sue busy and overwhelmed with trip to Castlegar. Sue cannot compete with Arctic's fabu contribution. Sue feels brain dead now. No bugging Sue allowed.

You be safe Sue and good luck
Keep us posted and will watch for your words of wisdom on this post

With tearful eye and mournful heart
I watch as talents do depart
and leave behind this rhymless lump,
a mirthless wordsmith turned to grump.

Before, the words sprang from my chest
I rhymed and rhythmed with the best
But now the tinkling words have ceased
And leave behind a mute, dull beast.

I trudge, I trudge with leaden feet
my daily tasks with grimace meet
I feed the birds with no pizzaz
then lumpish sit upon my azz.

I used to rise with quickened blood
to sizzling words and flinging mud
and slapping prose on whitened page
my rapier wit was all the rage.

Now paper crimps with falling tears
I lose my skill to creeping years.
The words I love have flown away
and I have nothing left to say.

I went to Castlegar and back,
the heat gave me a heart attack.
A place with highs of 38
Is weather that I really hate.

Worst of all the Schips are black.
Double chance of heart attack.
I dragged my dog around the ring
Six times a prize this did not bring.

So home we went, a lovely drive.
We traveled slow, returned alive.
The Schip and Bossies loved the lake,
A cooling swim we all did take.

So now I'm home, unpacked and cleaned,
No prizes have my doggies gleaned.
But what a drive, the views were best,
BC dwellers are really blessed.

Black as ink, in fur encased
The Schips a ribbon'd win did chase
Six times 'round the circle try
Heat and sun the skin doth fry
A long trip back, continental divide
Beauty soothes the sting of pride
Alberta bound
To hallowed ground
To friends and family again.

Sweet!

We are TOO good! Really, I am always so impressed and amused by us.

I too agree how wonderful we are, Uno. Perhaps we need a thread on who is the wonderfulest.

We ALL is the wonderfulist!

I KNOW!
We are rather brilliant, arent we?!

Ooops, sorry, didn't mean to walk in on you all having a 'private' moment with yourselves!

It's a love-in. That sound you hear is us patting each other on the back and that smell is the slow burn of smug self adoration. Ain't it great?

MmMMmM smells gooooooood!


(with deference to the classic movie Balls of Fury)