Uno freaks out!

Some smoke wafted your way didn't it.

I'm so glad things are looking up today!

Enjoy your visit with the girls today. Nothing like a good chat over coffee (or other assorted bevies) to sort things out. Now, you'll have to forgive me for being a bit pushy here but I have to mention this once more...think about the book thing ok? I can tell you didn't give it enough thought...sort of shot that idea down quick, didn't you! So forget about the advice part...just write down your thoughts like you do here in sort of a journal format. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it, and at how many people would flock to Chapters buy a book like that! Ok I'm done. For now. Have a wonderful day!!

Though I am glad you are feeling a bit better but if you ingnore your previous feelings then they will come back with a vengance.

I have been to therapists (all are not created equal) and though it seemed to be a complaining session sometimes, there were a few times that I did have an enlightening thought or understanding. Like the light bulb being turned on.

The mind is a wonderful and highly complex thing. It sounds as if you have had these recurring "sad times" and that sounds like there is an issue/s underlying that bother you greatly and yet have either put it aside or forgotten it. There were a few things that I found out in sessions that did not make my "problems" go away but did make things easier to understand and therefore not feel so bad. A few of those and life got to be full of speed bumps instead of mountains when things were not going well or mood was off.

I often feel that I have done little right with my life though I do have a relatively good life...everyone has their idea of that. Hindsight is 20/20 and to be honest, I like things to go the way I want but can compramize.

No matter what others think, if you feel a way, it is real.

Meds too....don't anybody jump all over me..but, don't discount the proper medication. I hate to depend on something like that but if it makes life semi enjoyable compared to wanting to crawl in a deep cave and stay there....

This may sound goofy to some people but I am learning that my moods are partially dependant on some of the food I eat and chemicals that are around. Some people are more sesitive than others. I didn't take that idea seriously until my young one started having unexplainable mood crashes. Yes, kids will be kids, but if we avoid certain food and environmental stressers, there is a huge difference. We have tried this approach again and again and do see the huge difference. Some is allergies and some are not...maybe just sensitivities???

I have totally hijacked the post so will stop soon. I just want to let you know that so many of the things you said in your original post made my chest burn and get red in the face. I really identified with it. There is something wrong and if you don't find out what then it will be hard to change the way you keep feeling. Sadness and disappointment are a fact of life but the dispair you feel is not/should not be.

Sounds like it is time to pull out the "SAD" light and the vitamin D. This is the time of year with the lack of sun and the holiday stresses that really bring out the feelings that I am hearing you express. A little TLC, a trip to a Spa, something to make you feel good could help. My friends are going to Cuba, we will be here on the (Ha) Sunshine Coast with our umbrellas.

Good point. I mega dose vit D and try to spend time outside. I had a less expensive version of the SAD light a couple of years ago but the "electrical hum" drove me nuts. I should save for a better quality one and try it first.

Let's see...my new do-list

Write book.
Take vitamin D.
Stare at light bulb.
Talk to therapist.
Quit being a tool.
Have coffee with girls.
Get tattoo.
Kiss horses and dog.
Employ a Brazilian.
Run away with bikini.
Have more indepth conversation with R. Roo.

It's going to be a busy next few days! I know I have some decisions to make. IT boils down to stay where I am and be happy OR... do something rash, staggeringly expensive and perhaps regrettable. I keep harassing the more reticent Hubby about life not providing any guarantees, and here I want a guarantee. IT is not often that I find myself stuck. But I am. And I am handling it with no grace or good humour.

Thanks to CynthiaM and FarmChiq for being my chicken soul mates. IT was truly good to see them both today. If anything big happens in my life, you all will be the first to know. To every one of you, thank you. I mean it. Thank you.

*poke* you should add, hugg your chicken to your list.
This is a poultry group

I personally am not worried about you. Anyone who can spew their ugly feelings out that well will not slit their wrists. Its the ones who keep it all locked up and festering that worry me. I applaud your courage. I have felt all those things and throughout our lives both my husband and myself have felt like frauds. We can all go down some pretty dark tunnels. Getting it out, speaking it,(or writing it in your case) lets me look at it. Lets me ask myself the all important question " Is that true?" Invariably my thoughts begin to turn around.