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duck fun, and computer chicken

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1 duck fun, and computer chicken on Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:24 am

Magdelan

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Alice and Emile went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and they order the 'Chicken Surprise.'  The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Alice is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband, Emile.  He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. Emile reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' stammers the waiter, 'what you order?'
Emile replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'

'Ah! So sorry, is mistake' says the attendant, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'

Funny Duck Story:
Alan is driving a pick-up truck along the road with a flock of ducks in the back. He is stopped by a zealous police officer who informs Alan that he is speeding and then asks him where he's going with all the ducks. Alan replies that he is not sure what to do with them. The policeman tells him helpfully, 'Look, Marwell Zoo is not far from here and that's a good place as any to take them.' Alan thanks the police officer and drives off with his ducks.

The next day the officer again sees the same pick-up truck hurtling down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls Alan over again and growls, 'I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo.'

'I did,' responded Alan happily, 'but now they want to go to Southsea beach.'


Computer Chicken:

Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......

   C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

   C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.

   COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?
      IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
           THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
           VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
           ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
       ELSE
       GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

   Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

   Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.Will and Guy's Computer Humour

   Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.

   Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

   Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.

   Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)  See also WMI Monitor.

   Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

   Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.

   Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

   OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

   OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

   Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.

   Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
    ♪

   Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

   VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

   XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

   The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

   The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

   The Vesta Chicken was eaten by my old friend 'Mad Mick'

2 Re: duck fun, and computer chicken on Sun Dec 22, 2013 1:58 pm

Farmer Bob

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Oh my...I laughed so hard about the peeking duck that it took me a good 5 minutes before I could stop grinning long enough to tell my wife!

3 Re: duck fun, and computer chicken on Sun Dec 22, 2013 2:15 pm

Magdelan

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so good!

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