How does one transition from a constant state of 'considering it', to either doing it or not?
I have struggled for years with my writing. I am a most wonderful self-depricator, and have always had some incessant need for confirmation of my downfalls. In general, my writing has not received those confirmations. I've been asked, numerous times, "Why don't you write a book?" and "Why don't you publish your poetry?" My response is usually somewhere along the lines of 'because I suck' and in more words people generally say "Oh pish posh!" in some spiffy, non-existent English accent. In regards to a book I was half way through writing and abandoned, I was told "This is very Anne Rice-ish." For the first time in my life, I was insulted when someone commented on my writing. I abhore Anne Rice, and any other authors who dog and cat their readers.
I've toyed with a blog here and there; I always say "I won't let this blog fall by the wayside." It does. Then I say: "I'll never start another blog again." I do.
About a week ago, maybe two or three, the title for a book popped into my head. I've written the whole book 9 or 10 times in my head but I never write down the good stuff. By the time I remember to do so, or find myself willing to be bothered, it never sounds right, I get frustrated, tear it apart and go cry in a corner like a two year old. Though I'm ashamed by how I am, I'm not afraid to admit it. There's an intense probability I need therapy for my lack of self worth, however I haven't sought it; perhaps I don't find myself worth the effort. There's a thought.
However, I am babbling, and that's not what this is about (I think). How do I transition from the thinking about it to the either doing it or giving it up once and for all and shut that nagging in my head up. I've asked these questions to try and make the move:
Q: Why?
A: Why not?
Q: Why not?
A: Because who would read it?
Q: Who would read it?
A: Probably no one.
Q: Why do you think that?
A: I'm not sure.
Q: What if someone did buy it?
A: That'd be awesome, but would they like it?
Q: Would they like it?
A: I don't know.
This is the constant cycle I run through and I'm hoping I'm just asking the wrong questions due to my incessantly negative mindset. [Just change it! Eff Ewe, that's like telling a heroin addict to just stop shooting up.] I want to write because I want to have some supplemental income coming in from a hobby, maybe make someone smile by reading something I wrote. Books like Made From Scratch, Possum Living, The Feast Nearby and The Quarter Acre Farm all inspire me, but not enough to get me past me.
Have you done something like this before? Back and forth over a nagging decision of something you want to do and either don't make time for or don't find yourself 'good' or 'qualified enough' to do? How'd you make the final decision?
I have struggled for years with my writing. I am a most wonderful self-depricator, and have always had some incessant need for confirmation of my downfalls. In general, my writing has not received those confirmations. I've been asked, numerous times, "Why don't you write a book?" and "Why don't you publish your poetry?" My response is usually somewhere along the lines of 'because I suck' and in more words people generally say "Oh pish posh!" in some spiffy, non-existent English accent. In regards to a book I was half way through writing and abandoned, I was told "This is very Anne Rice-ish." For the first time in my life, I was insulted when someone commented on my writing. I abhore Anne Rice, and any other authors who dog and cat their readers.
I've toyed with a blog here and there; I always say "I won't let this blog fall by the wayside." It does. Then I say: "I'll never start another blog again." I do.
About a week ago, maybe two or three, the title for a book popped into my head. I've written the whole book 9 or 10 times in my head but I never write down the good stuff. By the time I remember to do so, or find myself willing to be bothered, it never sounds right, I get frustrated, tear it apart and go cry in a corner like a two year old. Though I'm ashamed by how I am, I'm not afraid to admit it. There's an intense probability I need therapy for my lack of self worth, however I haven't sought it; perhaps I don't find myself worth the effort. There's a thought.
However, I am babbling, and that's not what this is about (I think). How do I transition from the thinking about it to the either doing it or giving it up once and for all and shut that nagging in my head up. I've asked these questions to try and make the move:
Q: Why?
A: Why not?
Q: Why not?
A: Because who would read it?
Q: Who would read it?
A: Probably no one.
Q: Why do you think that?
A: I'm not sure.
Q: What if someone did buy it?
A: That'd be awesome, but would they like it?
Q: Would they like it?
A: I don't know.
This is the constant cycle I run through and I'm hoping I'm just asking the wrong questions due to my incessantly negative mindset. [Just change it! Eff Ewe, that's like telling a heroin addict to just stop shooting up.] I want to write because I want to have some supplemental income coming in from a hobby, maybe make someone smile by reading something I wrote. Books like Made From Scratch, Possum Living, The Feast Nearby and The Quarter Acre Farm all inspire me, but not enough to get me past me.
Have you done something like this before? Back and forth over a nagging decision of something you want to do and either don't make time for or don't find yourself 'good' or 'qualified enough' to do? How'd you make the final decision?