My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"Oh my!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something
more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her
a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as
well sweep the driveway.."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"Oh my!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something
more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her
a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as
well sweep the driveway.."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
