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What horses say.

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1 What horses say. on Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:12 pm

uno

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My two think I can't hear them, but I can. Have you ever overheard a conversation that you wish you could un-hear? Well that's me and my two evil equines. I feel cheap and used.

I was out near their pen, locating buried snowshovels and searching for Show Sheen when they both came trotting over to the fence, heads over, ears forward. Talking.

"Hey look, it's the hay bringer."
"Good, it's been at least 4 hours since she gave us any hay."
"I know. 4 hours. That's a lot."
"Sure is. Hey, she's looking this way, quick, look hungry."
"How's this, do I look hungry?"
"No, no, you're doing it wrong. Hang your head a little, look weak."
"Is this better? Is my head low enough?"
"Pretty good, but suck your gut in, look hollow and ribby."
"I can't breathe like this!"
"Just hang on, it won't last long. How do I look? Do I look skinny?"
"You look pretty good except for all your chest and neck fat and your double chin."
"I know, it's hard to suck in neck fat. But I've been practicing my wormy look. How is this?"
"Wow, very good, you do actually look wormy when you do that."
"I know, it distracts her from the neck fat."
"Why do we want to look wormy?"
"Because whenever there is a problem, wormy, scurfy, too much hair, she feeds us more. So, pick your look and go with it."
"Oh. What would happen if I looked lame?"
"She'd feed us more, aren't you listening to me?"
"Okay. How's this?"
"That is awesome, you look practicaly like your leg is broken. Go with that, she's bound to bring us hay now!"
"Oh! She's right there, quick, nicker a lot and have some tears roll out too, big, fake horse tears."

So, of course, I gave them more hay. Liars. But now I hate them. And I am NOT going out again until at least another 4 hours has gone by! So there.



Last edited by uno on Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

2 Re: What horses say. on Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:14 pm

rosewood

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tHE DIALOGUE HERE AMONG THE CHICKENS AND hIGHLAND CATTLE IS VERY SIMILAR. i'M WONDERING IF IT SHOWS THAT OUR GRANDSON WAS USING THIS COMPUTER TO DO HIS SPELLING HOMEWORK.

3 Re: What horses say. on Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:18 pm

smokyriver

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UNO you are hilarious!! I totally agree though those animals definitely know how to sucker us into feeding them more!

http://Www.poultrypalacecanada.com

4 Re: What horses say. on Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:13 pm

heda gobbler

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You make me laugh.

Did you know Highland cattle can suck in their cheeks, look weak, limp past the house and moan all at the same time???

http://www.tatlayokofold.com

5 Re: What horses say. on Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:46 pm

rosewood

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Did you know Highland cattle can suck in their cheeks, look weak, limp past the house and moan all at the same time???
I love the Highland wheeze like we are on our last legs.

6 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 6:42 am

Hillbilly

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Why does this work so well for horses, but not me? Ive tried my best wormy look in the house, laid flat on the floor, and nothing. Nope.

7 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:48 am

Ruffledfeathers

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ROFL

I think you need another class or 2 from your teachers Hillbilly

8 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:50 am

heda gobbler

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I don't know how responsive humans are to the wormy look in other humans!!

http://www.tatlayokofold.com

9 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:56 am

Ruffledfeathers

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Yah I never thought about that. I have two humany people who are ALWAYS starving and will eat just about anything I put forth.

My chickens do have the look down pat though , and the trail of chickens back to the house says something usually I end up turning around and giving them some more just to keep them happy.

Oh shucks I'm an enabler!!
Or maybe I'm just WELL trained

10 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:08 am

smokyriver

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Hillbilly you need the tears in your eyes and a really droopy lip, with the tummy really sucked in. It always seems to work for my kids, at least with hubby, I usually look at them and let them know they aren't that skinny yet, but a few hours of work might help! Lol. They seem to want to eat every half hour much worse than the animals

http://Www.poultrypalacecanada.com

11 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:13 am

heda gobbler

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And the hunched shoulders - don't forget that! Sighing helps too.

http://www.tatlayokofold.com

12 Re: What horses say. on Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:50 pm

uno

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That's it, Ruffledfeathers! We're all livestock enablers! We need to seek therapy....AA, Animals Anon.

Give it up Hillbilly, your Missus has your number. Moan away dude, you're out of luck.

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